confused about romantic vs platonic

[raye]

So I was talking to my allo-cis-het friend today about romantic and sexual relationships because I'm still very new to being and accepting myself as aro, and I was basically just asking him questions and being even more confused about the answers. 

My main question was what's the difference between a romantic relationship and a friend you go on dates with etc? and he didn't really seem to have a solid answer for that? He just said that romantic relationships are focussed on love and loyalty, but then I was just confused about what love is because I tell my friends I love them? maybe this is just a me thing, I don't know. But it just really confused me and he was laughing at me and telling me I'd probably find someone someday. And I don't blame him for that because he doesn't really understand it, but I just thought I'd come on here and see what some of you guys had to say on it? Anything would be appreciated :) 

[itsrainingtacos]

In my personal experience, and as a relationship anarchist, there isn't necessarily a solid difference between platonic and romantic attraction. I believe that it wholly depends on individual situations, rather than an inherent difference between the type of relationship, if that makes sense. What I can tell you for sure is that it's definitely possible to be focussed on love and loyalty in platonic relationships as well, contrary to what your friend said. 

Also I would just like to tell you, from one aro to another, that having a friend laugh and say you'll probably find someone someday when you tell them you're aromantic is an aphobic attitude. I would try and talk to him about that if I were you (as long as you feel safe to do so).

Take care :)