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can i be aro and have a relationship


v3nus

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i desire a relationship but i have never felt romantic attraction only sexual. would it be wrong to continue to date and go out with people. i want to have a deep connection with someone but i can’t feel romantically towards them. would i be leading them on if i do? how do i explain it to them? 

Edited by v3nus
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I've been in a relationship for 2 1/2 years and recently told him I think I might be aromantic -- not because I was hiding it, but because it had just occurred to me. It's really up to you on how transparent you want to be. There are all kind of options for this, ranging from something as basic as "find someone who is okay with having a romantic relationship with someone who might not feel romantically back" to queerplatonic relationships to consensual nonmonogamy. If you haven't looked into relationship anarchy, that might be interesting to you. I think it's good to be honest, but, at the same time, don't let that discourage you from seeking out relationships. I don't really think I'm in love with my boyfriend per se, but I do feel deeply attached to him regardless. Relationships are possible.

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  • 1 month later...
On 6/26/2022 at 5:31 AM, v3nus said:

i desire a relationship but i have never felt romantic attraction only sexual. would it be wrong to continue to date and go out with people. i want to have a deep connection with someone but i can’t feel romantically towards them. would i be leading them on if i do? how do i explain it to them? 

Sure, I am! I know they like me, and they know I'm aro and have been fine with that so far. We're dating, and I'm okay with that even though I don't really feel romantic attraction to them (I found out I was aro after we started dating). You could also be interested in queer-platonic or alterous relationships. Some people view the two as different and some don't, and that's okay. It's also okay to just have friendships if that's what you find you want.

The point is, there's no one way to do relationships, so as long as you're potential partner/partners know that you're aro and are okay with it, then yeah you can be aro and have a relationship! I hope this helped :]

Edited by Arrow
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  • 6 months later...

I can only affirm Arrows answer.

As long as you give the other person to chose the real you, then it is ok and it is possible.

Hiding things from a partner, whatever that might be, will not be healthy for a relationship. And if that secret gets discovered the necessary trust is gone. So, if you know your orientation let your potential partner know.

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