The convenience of Dating, and Qprs

[Ikarus]

Instead of looking for a date me, and well I believe a lot of us are looking for other aros. Until recently I have finally admitted to myself that I want at least one friendship with someone who is aromantic. It felt strange to admit this because it felt like I was being very selective and singling a bunch of people out, which is only true if you want friendships with only aros exclusively. I haven’t made that leap yet, instead I decided that if I find at the very least one aro person (and we vibe and all) then I can rest assured that I will have at the very least one friend who will stick around. If I make friends with people who are allo then I may run a very high risk of experiencing the friendship disposability effect. I have a high chance of falling into this fate If I just sit back and passively wait for aros to show up during my life. 

Instead I realized for my life at least I want to take a more active approach and find at least one other aro, maybe two if thats doable at the beginning of my search but I may end up finding just one if I am being realistic here. An active approach involving selectively looking for other people who are compatible to you in a specific respect, well this approach kind of smells like dating. I feel a little repulsed at this idea but the end is not for romance, the means are just a little similar in a bare bones type of way. Look for a specific person or persons that share a specific compatibility to me, instead of romance it’s the lack thereof. 

Dating and Qprs, although I don’t know a whole lot about the latter but I believe I can say the two are selective, active, look for compatibility of some sort, and probably involve moving in together. On that basic level I find the means used in Dating and Qprs convenient for putting a rest to my doubts. My doubts about passively finding friends (Not searching for a specific type of person just finding whoever I like that comes along):  The passive method leaves me to reason that I run the risk of having friends that won't stay around long term or frequently throughout the year. When my allo friends get preoccupied with their love lives I can have someone to be around meeting the need I have for a long term social life with others outside the internet and my parasocial connections haha. 

So basically I'm using the dating technique to find someone who is compatible to me in a broader respect (they are simply aro) rather than (feeling the romo a specific way with someone...is that even romance... I don’t know....) I wonder if there is a name for what I am trying to say here, because it’s not a Qpr, platonic relationship, romo dating, for me it’s just trying to find another aro to even out the odds in your favor for a longer lasting friendship. I guess I will call it the great Aro hunt, other names are welcome by the way.

Anyhoot thanks for reading, I hope this was interesting or useful for ya.  

 

 

 

Edited June 10, 2022 by Ikarus