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Am I Aromantic?


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For the past two weeks after reading Loveless, I have been trying to figure out if I am aromantic or not. I know I’m ace, but I might be aromantic too.

The main issue is that I don’t know I am or not. I’ve never had a real desire to kiss anyone or really do anything romantic I think. I don’t think I’ve actually had feelings for anyone I’ve thought I’ve liked. One person is making me question this though. I’m really good friends with someone and I love spending time with this person. I don’t think I want to date them, but I want to be closer to them. I think I want a QPR? I don’t know anymore and I thought I would ask y’all to see if you have any advice or anything. Sorry if this is a mess. This has been driving me crazy for a little bit

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I am sorta in the same boat as you. I always thought I was bi cuz my friendships with women tended to be intense but hey guys looked great too. But I learned about asexuality and aesthetic attraction ...and things clicked. I'm ace but I must be romantically attracted to both. Right? Nope. Heard about aromantic spec and well... the tunnel vision I would get with certain friends were just squishes. I was just experiencing intense platonic attraction and wanted to hang out with them sooo much. But I never got butterflies or lost sleep thinking about what they were doing. This friend I have tho, I love spending time with her and I can be myself. We already cuddle and take naps together and it would be nice to be room mates so we can spend more time playing video games, cooking, doing yoga etc. But I don't want to date them. No kissing. Hell, even saying "I love you" is too romantic for me. I thought about asking her about a QPR but she is super romantic and wants all the romantic stuff that I'm learning now that I can't give. We just wouldn't be compatible for one. 

I think bringing up QPR with your friend is a good start. Definitely talk about what you would want out of a QPR and invite them to for input as to what they want out of one too. If what you both want out of a QPR vibes, then great. Go for it! It can always change or evolve if that is what you both want. It can also end if it's not something that works for you two. 

No QPR is the same and it's what the folks involved want it to be that is super key. Sometimes it can work out and sometimes it just doesn't. Communication is super key tho. 

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14 minutes ago, impala67 said:I think bringing up QPR with your friend is a good start. Definitely talk about what you would want out of a QPR and invite them to for input as to what they want out of one too. If what you both want out of a QPR vibes, then great. Go for it! It can always change or evolve if that is what you both want. It can also end if it's not something that works for you two. 

I know that they know about QPRs and everything because they are the person I’ve learned the term from. When I thought that I was straight, I also kinda said “yo I think I like you” which makes any moves to a qpr or anything kinda awkward (we are good now and we like to spend time together)… I dont think a QPR would change how we act, but I think it would be cool to have one.

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Oh nice! Knowing the context a bit more, I guess making a move towards a QPR would initially be awkward but would make a funny story in the future. 🤗

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38 minutes ago, impala67 said:

Oh nice! Knowing the context a bit more, I guess making a move towards a QPR would initially be awkward but would make a funny story in the future. 🤗

Lol it would be a funny story

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