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quoiromantic with relationships


jjaee_jaee

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Hi, I'm quoiromantic and I've been having a bit of a hard time with the ideas of relationships. I first of don't understand what makes a relationship romantic etc. (of course) but I would be fine in a relationship with someone who is romantically attracted to me if I knew them and felt comfortable with them such as a friend for instance. Does this make me selfish? Does it make me a bad person for leading them on when i know I will never understand what they feel or reciprocate what they feel towards me? I've never been in a relationship before, but am fine with the idea. It's a tough one, and I'm still young and don't expect a relationship anytime soon but it's been really messing with me, any feedback would be really helpful, thank you!! 

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This doesn't make you a bad person. Just be clear from the start about everything so you don't accidentally lead them on. I would suggest maybe a qpr because allos get really hurt when someone doesn't reciprocate especially in a romantic labeled relationship that way a qpr is established to be not traditionally romantic so there's less pressure to feel a certain way

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thank you!! ive thought about qpr before and they sound great, but if i were asked to be in a romantic relationship despite my being aro i would be fine with it? is that normal? am i still arospec? thanks!!

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2 hours ago, jjaee_jaee said:

if i were asked to be in a romantic relationship despite my being aro i would be fine with it? is that normal?

For reference, I've been in a couple of romantic relationships before I realised I was Aro. That doesnt means I wasnt Aro then, nor does it mean I'm not now. Being Aro doesn't mean romance repulsed. It just means your idea of romance is disconnected from what society would say it is.

Secondly, (and this is going more into my own personal beliefs) labelling yourself as Aro (like most other labels) is just a tool to help yourself describe what you feel. Feel free to use it as you want, so long as you feel it can describe you.

Having said that I would like to reinforce what Luc said.

On 4/17/2022 at 5:20 AM, Luc said:

Just be clear from the start about everything so you don't accidentally lead them on.

Honesty is normally best. Dont let the other person think that you feel things you dont.

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thank you guys so much!! this has really helped, nearly brought me to tears!!!! i’ll definitely stick with being honest to my possible future partners despite not understanding their possible side of things! i’ve felt quite strange identifying as aro as all the representation we get is of stone cold romance repulsed folks, which doesnt fit me at all and your reply turned my view around. thank you again! (^^)/

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