I'm questioning if I'm a cupioromantic and searching a deeper definition of it

[Edin]

Ok so honestly i found this site a couple minutes ago and just got here so i'm kinda scared but going forward as the title says im questioning if i'm a cupioromantic.

honestly this all started with the fact that i was still questioning if i was Bisexual or Pansexual because i really didn't care so much on gender and it frustrated me but then one day i was scrolling on tik tok (i know one of the worst places to find information) and the term Cupioromantic popped up and i started wondering if maybe i was that. The definition i found was that a cupioromantic is someone that feels little to no romantic feeling towards others but still craves a romantic relationship ( kind of like dreams of it or something like that)

 

But i have my doubts because i have dated before, so it makes me second  guess myself, and i've been realizing that most of my crushes were forced onto me because i wanted to be normal like the other kids so i constantly just picked a random person and just went with it. and some i've even tried to force myself to like because i felt so weird not liking someone.

 

But it isn't only these things i struggle with but it's also the term cupioromantic. i'm scared to say i'm a cupioromantic because i don't know much on it and if it means differently than what i'm thinking it means and i confuse someone and myself it'll just go into a frenzy of confusion. Also i'm wondering is it ok to identify as cupioromantic, i'm not educated on the Aro-Ace spectrum sadly so it makes me scared to find my way and possibly make a mistake. 

 

im sorry i went on a ramble but the main reason i wrote all this was because i was wondering if someone could give me advice and educate me more on the term cupioromantic . also if someone could point me to the right flag because i'm not sure what it looks like....

 

                                                                                                                          Thank you for reading

                                                                                                                                                     Sincerely, Edin. 

[lovelyleaf]

Hi, I identify as cupioromantic :)

first of all, it's always okay to identify how you feel 

For me, I identify as cupioromantic because I'm think I'm aro and I don't really get romance and don't think I feel romantic attraction but I still want a romantic relationship because it just seems really nice yknow? 

Hope this helps at least a little, sorry I couldn't provide more

[dewy]

I think it's OK for you to identify with cupioromantic if that is what you feel and what makes you comfortable. If you change labels later on, that's totally valid, and I think it's just part of figuring yourself out. I actually used to identify as cupio myself. But of course, you don't have to label yourself right away when questioning. Take all the time you need to figure out yourself and what label(s) are right for you.

I'd also recommend reading up on the aromantic spectrum to learn more. This forum is a good place to start, there is an FAQ on a good website on aromanticism linked at the top, as well as a list of romantic orientations you can look at if you want to learn about other labels. Browsing through the forum is also good, you can learn more about aromanticism and the experiences of arospec people by doing that.

18 hours ago, Edin said:

But i have my doubts because i have dated before, so it makes me second  guess myself, and i've been realizing that most of my crushes were forced onto me because i wanted to be normal like the other kids so i constantly just picked a random person and just went with it. and some i've even tried to force myself to like because i felt so weird not liking someone.

I'd like to add, plenty of arospec people choose to date and/or have dated before realizing they're arospec, so that doesn't actually matter much when considering your identity.

"Choosing" crushes or trying to make yourself like someone romantically to fit in is also a common experience among arospec people. For me, I did that a lot in elementary school, and I'd say that was my earliest sign of being aro.