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Am I aromantic?


Guest Kitty2345
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Guest Kitty2345

So guys I don't really know where to go to chat about these kinds of things. I am 21, go by he/him pronouns and I identify as a aromantic gay man. Or at least I have been up until now. I'm having some mixed feelings regarding romantic attraction. I'm very open with my friends about how I enjoy sex and i'm usually completely open about my feelings. Recently I've been feeling like I have closer bonds with people than i've ever had. I've been close with people in the past but I find myself craving intimacy and someone to be with. I have been thinking about 1 friend in particular, we are really close and I feel like I want to try to date them. I dont want to hurt them, or ruin my relationship with them. They're one of my favourite people and we have a level of intimacy / sexual chemistry I've never had with someone before. I dont know if this particularly means i'm not aromantic... or if im greyromantic or do I just have commitment / trust issues. Am I also just young and inexperienced? I'm just very confused. Has anybody else ever felt like this?

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There's a lot of possibilities here, and of course only you know the truth.

  1. You might be craving a QPR (queer-platonic relationship), or something similar. A deep bond with this person, without making it romantic in nature.
  2. Maybe you're experiencing a squish?
  3. You're grey-ro, or demi-romantic! Worth looking into

I definitely get not wanting to hurt them, especially if you are unsure if these feelings might fade overtime, or you misinterpreted them. I'm glad you don't want to treat them as your test subject. The best way to avoid this is simply to be open with them! If it feels safe, tell them how you feel, and that you feel confused and don't want to hurt them. Maybe they would be willing to try something, fully with the knowledge that it may not develop into anything romantic? Maybe they're willing to try a QPR?

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