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Being crushed on


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I realised I was aro ace after I was unknowingly set up and went on a date with a girl. When she first asked I thought she just wanted to hang out with me outside school. I am pretty blind to romantic cues but while the day of our get together came closer I started to realise this wasn’t what I had signed up for. The girl appeared friendlier to me than before and wore more makeup. She’d join me every lunch time in the library which as a hardcore introvert made me a little uncomfortable. She was attractive, smart and read all the books I liked so when I only felt dread about the upcoming day it was confusing. All throughout the get together I talked about how I never wanted to get married, didn’t understand romance, I think I even backed away a little whenever she came near. I did everything short of saying I was aromantic because I didn’t understand what I was feeling or how to express it. It was probably the worst date she’d ever had to deal with. 
Now she and the girl who set us up are my best friends at the school I go to and are dating each other. I came out to them and they accepted me. 
I care deeply for my friends because of this as the girl never pressed me even though I was probably sending out such mixed signals at the time as I struggle to understand what actions are considered romantic. 
I suppose I saying that anyone who has crushed on an aromantic person it may feel confusing for both you and the person. We’re not all socially inexperienced like me of course but if we say we don’t want to date because we’re aromantic we mean it. Again not all aromantic people but I tend to be quite direct once I understand a situation. If I ever liked someone I would tell them and when I don’t I tell them that too. Just a story of what goes on inside my aro ace head. 

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