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Questioning, I guess?


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okay so I'm kinda confused, please hear me out... I was indentifying as pan oriented, sex repulsed and romance indifferent aroace for a long time now. But I've read what "aegosexual" and "aegoromantic" is and I relate to most of signs of being aego. I enjoy shipping in media or reading sex scenes in books or manga, however I feel very repulsed by the thought of having sex myself. And I'm rather neutral about having a romantic relationship and I don't really want to be in one but I like reading romantic fanfiction/manga/comics and I feel happy when main characters get into a relationship etc. So I'm like 90% sure I'm both aegosexual and aegoromantic. But I still want to identify as aroace, not really as aego. Can I still identify as oriented aroace even though I'm not strictly aroace but aego? The term "angled aroace" doesn't suit me either because I don't experience romantic or sexual attraction... So wouldn't that make me aroace anyway? I'm just confused and I don't know if I can still use the label "pan oriented aroace" even though I'm aego. I just think that this label fits me a lot more than aegosexual aegoromantic. I just don't feel such strong connection with the "aego" label as I feel to "pan oriented aroace" label (there is a small connection tho). So am I still allowed to use the term oriented aroace to describe myself? Can I use both "oriented aroace" AND "aegosexual aegoromantic" labels at the same time? I really need help sorting this out.

Edited by Alexander
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Hi! I went through a similar experience once I discovered that I was aroace and not bisexual. I looked though a lot of romantic labels like gray, cupio and lithro that should fit (and do fit) given my perspective on romance/crushes. But for a number of reasons, I didn't like them as much as I immediately bialterous and angled aroace.

Long story short, if you don't vibe with a label, you don't have to use it just because it "fits" you, and you can use as many or as few as you like. I changed labels a LOT of times, and I still wish someone could have told me earlier that I'm "allowed" to identify as whatever I want to, if that makes sense. You're not confined to a label, and you're allowed to use whichever ones you vibe with/feel connected to.

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