Guest miki Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 Hello! I've been questioning if I'm aro for... well, about a year now. I'll be 18 next month and I'm lesbian and demisexual, I'm 100% sure about that. I've never been interested in any guys and the idea of any physical activities (even with girls) makes me feel uncomfortable. I have a social anxiety and I struggle with talking to people and socializing in general. I've had 3 crushes in the past, but I'm not sure if it's okay to call them crushes? All of them were my friends at the point when I started to feel 'something' for them. I never thought about kissing them or holding their hand (most physical interactions make me uncomfortable and I prefer to be asked beforehand, even if someone just wants to hug me), but I knew I wanted to have some kind of special connection with them - spend a lot of time with them, talk and just feel like I can be myself. I always called them crushes, but now that I think about it more, I might have just wanted a deeper friendship or a platonic relationship. I've never been in a relationship. Well... only once I suppose. I confessed to my friend last year (one of those I thought I have a crush on) to see how it will go. After 3 days, I knew I couldn't do it anymore. I felt pressured to even hug her and while some light cuddling was okay with me, I just felt like she deserves better than me. I didn't really feel the need to touch her or kiss her, I only wanted to be in her company. Well, eventually one time she leaned in to kiss me, but I quickly turned away. She asked me why did I do that and I said that I need more time for this stuff. And after a week of some light touching and me being a bit disinterested and overthinking everything she was trying to do, she just gave up on me and found someone else after a few months. That was the only 'relationship' I've ever experienced. I don't know how I feel about romance. I feel weird when I see people kiss in the public. I can't imagine myself going on dates. On the other hand, I enjoy reading about it and watching series and movies revolving around it (in other words, I'm a big shipper lol). Exploring relationships between two characters and their dynamics is more enjoyable to me than the thought of myself being in a relationship. So, anyone else with similar experiences? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.