Crushes or Social Anxiety??

[Guest AroAceBlob]

Okay. (It’s a long one)

So I’m 19 and have never dated or been interested in doing so my entire life. I honestly consider is a waste of time tbh. Romance in movies is just too fast, confusing/annoying and movies are much better without it. I can appreciate a healthy loving relationship and think it’s cute, but I don’t want it for myself. But anyway, my freshman year of college I met this guy, let’s call him E. I didn’t know anyone at this new college so I was pretty stressed. E was the type of guy who was funny yet intense and I would always squirm internally when he looked at me. I really appreciated his intellect and musical talent. But I’m super anxious around guys in general, so I would consider the butterflies to be my anxiety. All the other girls were OBSESSED with him bc he SANG and played guitar. They wanted to date him and went on and on about how hot he was ect. I’ve always only liked guys’ personalities and if they had an ugly personality I would not be remotely interested. I can see aesthetically why people are attractive. He was just so much more well known and popular, and I just got really nervous when I saw him. I really wanted to get to know him and be close friends (a bit of sensual attraction as well which was hella confusing for me) I was just so happy when I saw him. Since learning about sensual attraction it’s really helped explain it, plus getting on meds for my anxiety ??. But back then the feelings were really intense, but I don’t think I would classify them as romantic. I didn’t think about him when he wasn’t there, I would only get socially anxious and embarrassed if i saw him. I would want to hang out and I think I kinda confused it with a crush, it might have been an intense squish...? Plus, I could consciously choose to not “like” him and was never jealous if he talked to anyone else. He was flaky and a major flirt so that DID annoy me but ??‍♀️ Idk...opinions?? [just recently accepted I’m Ace and been considering I’m Aro or at least grey romantic] thanks for reading ?

[Tarantulapaws]

31 minutes ago, Guest AroAceBlob said:

Okay. (It’s a long one)

So I’m 19 and have never dated or been interested in doing so my entire life. I honestly consider is a waste of time tbh. Romance in movies is just too fast, confusing/annoying and movies are much better without it. I can appreciate a healthy loving relationship and think it’s cute, but I don’t want it for myself. But anyway, my freshman year of college I met this guy, let’s call him E. I didn’t know anyone at this new college so I was pretty stressed. E was the type of guy who was funny yet intense and I would always squirm internally when he looked at me. I really appreciated his intellect and musical talent. But I’m super anxious around guys in general, so I would consider the butterflies to be my anxiety. All the other girls were OBSESSED with him bc he SANG and played guitar. They wanted to date him and went on and on about how hot he was ect. I’ve always only liked guys’ personalities and if they had an ugly personality I would not be remotely interested. I can see aesthetically why people are attractive. He was just so much more well known and popular, and I just got really nervous when I saw him. I really wanted to get to know him and be close friends (a bit of sensual attraction as well which was hella confusing for me) I was just so happy when I saw him. Since learning about sensual attraction it’s really helped explain it, plus getting on meds for my anxiety ??. But back then the feelings were really intense, but I don’t think I would classify them as romantic. I didn’t think about him when he wasn’t there, I would only get socially anxious and embarrassed if i saw him. I would want to hang out and I think I kinda confused it with a crush, it might have been an intense squish...? Plus, I could consciously choose to not “like” him and was never jealous if he talked to anyone else. He was flaky and a major flirt so that DID annoy me but ??‍♀️ Idk...opinions?? [just recently accepted I’m Ace and been considering I’m Aro or at least grey romantic] thanks for reading ?

 

I had a few squishes like that, initially starting out as intense until I became their friend and I could ignore the feelings if I wanted. What you're describing sounds like a squish. In my experience at least.