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Figuring it out


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Growing up, I never really got the whole boyfriend/girlfriend romance thing. Sure, I loved Disney princess movies (and now have graduated to rom coms), but I never really put myself in their shoes. I mean... Walking while reading like Belle? Hell yeah. Falling for the hairy guy? Uh no thank you, but I'll take some shampoo and conditioner tips. Jokes aside, I love the idea of romance and sex. I can see it makes other people really happy; I just don't think it's for me. Lately, I've been exploring my sexuality to try and pin it down with a label. I know sexuality is fluid, on a spectrum, and I shouldn't stress myself out about it... but I overthink stuff, it's sort of my thing. It'd also be nice to know where I fit and who's my community. I've also experienced the drawbacks of labels- the disbelief and barrage of questions by family, friends, and significant others. Taking one college course can't negate what I've been feeling for a long time! (Talking to you Kevin XP ). When I found this site, I didn't expect to connect so much to the very first post that popped up on my screen, but I did. That has led to me rambling here. Anyway, this is my first genuine attempt to define who I am. 

I love people; I love talking with them about my interests, their interests, and especially our shared interests. However, I also need my alone time when everyone else just feels like an intrusion. So yeah, I'm an ambivert.

I get little crushes on people that I find cute and my friends, but I never act on them. At first, I was shy, but now I realize that I don't want more from them that I already have (well, I wouldn't mind a little kissing, but that's off point : ) 

I definitely don't want a long-term relationship, that's a lot of work that I don't feel qualified for - or even that curious to try. 

Kissing boys can be... fun and experimental, but eventually I get bored and sometimes even grossed out (too much tongue is too much tongue). Maybe girls would be different, but I just have a feeling that it wouldn't be.  

So that's how I feel coming into the New Year, and I'm excited to explore these feelings and learn more about myself - and people like me.

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