Am I aro + ace or have I just got serious intimacy issues?

[SneezyPanda]

Ok so to fully (?) understand what's happening you need to know some background context??

 

I've been bullied since I was 5 years old (I am now 16) and I have always been a closed off, shy and kinda fake person. All of my friends don't actually know what my personality is like since they only ever want to interact with funny people who actually matter. I don't know if this could have had any impact on why I don't feel the need for sexual relationships or why I don't find anyone attractive (even celebrities or who my friends like).

 

I also have had a boyfriend when I was in year 8 (14 years old?) but I thought that I really loved him until I realised that I was actually obsessed with the idea of him loving me since no one had ever loved me like that before. Plus when I was with him I never felt the desire to hold his hand and the idea of kissing him terrified me.

 

I don't feel the need to have a romantic partner because I think I'm fine on my own and some one showing me romantic attraction would be creating a barrier in my freedom. I am quite isolated so I don't like people taking my personal space.

 

I just don't know if I'm just a serious introvert (my Myers Briggs personality type is an INFJ which is 2% of the population so maybe that's why I don't connect with people) but I feel like I am not relatable to everyone else when they talk about partners and love. Am I ace or aro or am I just a selfish dumbass??‍♀️

 

Send help???

[DaviM703]

If you don't feel sexual or romantic attraction then you can definitely identify as aromantic and asexual. It's not always possible to know why you feel the way you do, but orientations are about feelings and are valid whatever your reason is for feeling or not feeling something toward certain genders or anyone.