Confusion

[KymiNyci]

So, I recently found out that I'm Aromantic. More specifically, I'm Autochorisromantic/Aegoromantic. I never had to even think about this stuff (never really thought about romance in connection to me), but recently I had to let someone down. Now this isn't about that, it's just a reference type thing.

 

Anyway. Now that I'm more aware of how I feel about romance in connection with me, I feel slightly weird reading/watching story's/movies I was fine with before. I almost feel guilty reading/watching them. Like, I'm not repulsed by romance in, like, movies or books. I just don't like it connected to me. 

 

Will this last forever? Or will the almost guilt like feeling continue? Anyone have any suggestions for me?

[Sel & Pepper]

I hear you. I have been experiencing the same thing since I found out that I'm aromantic. It just feels weird somehow doesn't it? I was totally fine with reading/watching romance stuff before I knew I was aromantic. I just assumed I thought that romance was dumb and didn't like it, but then after realizing that I feel no connection to all those things happening in books/movies the stories just feel so weird! I personally feel a bit isolated reading/watching all those romance stuff... Honestly, makes me feel both bad and sad a little bit. I guess it is because I never realized how there is zero representation for people like me before?

 

Well anyway, I just try to look at the story from a different point of view. Sure, I'm aromantic, but it doesn't mean I can't enjoy stuff that includes romance. You don't have to relate to every single thing a character does in the story to enjoy it... right?

[KymiNyci]

Ya, I'm trying to look at it from a different perspective, and so far it's working for me. I'm slowly becoming able to read them without to much trouble. I think it'll just take time.

[rain of arrows]

I'm experiencing the exact same problems as you both. From what I've heard talking to other aros, I think it does fade and go away after some time. I mean, we've spent so much time being told that being in love is the height of humanity, of life, so to figure out that we're not gonna do any of that is...jarring, to say the least. I don't know about you guys, but for me, I guess romance was something I always vaguely considered to happen in my future, even if it was in the far, far future. The expectation for it to happen was there, and I guess knowing that it probably won't is somewhat saddening. But that's probably the amatonormativity speaking. 

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, it'll go away as you get used to it. Maybe in the future, there will be more positive media written about us, but even before then, as we consider other things as goals and the heights of our lives, it'll hurt less. Maybe someday it won't hurt at all. At least that's what I hope.