I realized at the beginning of this year that I am aro.A few months ago, I started a friends-with-benefits relationship with a guy who has been a friend for about 10 years.We have a friendly/antagonizing relationship, but it seems to work for us, or I thought it did.When we embarked on this change in our friendship, I told him that I did not want a romantic relationship, and straight out told him that I do not feel romantic love, and never have.I made sure to tell him that I was only ok with it after he agreed that he was not expecting or wanting anything more than our usual friendship and some feel-good-fun-time.The only problem is, I stopped dating 5 years ago, due to never feeling romantic feelings for my partners, and after a lot of research and self-reflection, I think I might also be asexual.I have never experienced sexual attraction for anyone I have ever met and do not enjoy sexual contact with other people, but did participate because I felt like it was expected in relationships.I have been gearing up to tell him, but then he went and confessed that he is in love with me. At this point, I think the asexual news is irrelevant, as what he wants most, is something I cannot give.I already told him straight out that I did not want a relationship, what else can I do or say to gently tell him its never gonna happen.I don't want to hurt him, as he is a dear friend, but he seems to refuse to acknowledge what I have told him.I need advice on how to gently let him down while also getting the point across for good.
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Guest b80b5...129
I realized at the beginning of this year that I am aro. A few months ago, I started a friends-with-benefits relationship with a guy who has been a friend for about 10 years. We have a friendly/antagonizing relationship, but it seems to work for us, or I thought it did. When we embarked on this change in our friendship, I told him that I did not want a romantic relationship, and straight out told him that I do not feel romantic love, and never have. I made sure to tell him that I was only ok with it after he agreed that he was not expecting or wanting anything more than our usual friendship and some feel-good-fun-time. The only problem is, I stopped dating 5 years ago, due to never feeling romantic feelings for my partners, and after a lot of research and self-reflection, I think I might also be asexual. I have never experienced sexual attraction for anyone I have ever met and do not enjoy sexual contact with other people, but did participate because I felt like it was expected in relationships. I have been gearing up to tell him, but then he went and confessed that he is in love with me. At this point, I think the asexual news is irrelevant, as what he wants most, is something I cannot give. I already told him straight out that I did not want a relationship, what else can I do or say to gently tell him its never gonna happen. I don't want to hurt him, as he is a dear friend, but he seems to refuse to acknowledge what I have told him. I need advice on how to gently let him down while also getting the point across for good.
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