Lost

[waywardson]

    You can probably guess where this post is going, I've been questioning aromanticism all summer. I've had a few relationships (online, anyways) but with each one I'm slightly more disenchanted with the reality of romance. I'm attracted to men, sure, but all the love I've felt is platonic. I say "I love you" with the same emotion and meaning I do to my friends that I would my boyfriend. Sometimes I don't know when romantic phrases are more than metaphors, sometimes I only know what romantic things to say if someone says them first. 

What spurred all my questions, you ask. Well, I was at a convention this summer. At that convention, a cosplayer on a panel mentioned that they were aromantic with casualty and for some reason I realized that was an option. I've had a lot of run-ins with the label in the past, often even id'ing with it but ultimately forgetting, so I don't know why I had this reaction. I'm honestly not sure what I'm looking for in making this post, any advice would be appreciated. Thanks for listening. 

[aro_elise]

i kept dismissing the possibility at first, too, until i...couldn't.  i know (for me, at least) sexual attraction makes it hard to discover your romantic orientation because you just assume it matches.  but here's something to think about: i thought 'how do i know whether i experience romantic attraction if i don't know what it is?'  well, that fact should be a pretty good indicator in itself.  if i had felt it, i'd know.  'but what i just haven't YET?'  well, i was 16/17 then and i'm 20 now and most importantly, i truly have a feeling i never will, but even if i do, my aromanticism up until that point is valid.  i was with my boyfriend for 8 months, great guy, we're still friends, but everything romantic...it felt like i was playing a part for which i hadn't prepared, and i thought i just had to get used to it but i never did.  i cried with nothing but relief (and a bit of sympathy for him) when we broke up.  i hope that helps and i'd be glad to try if you have any questions.