do u think im actually aro or a asshole

[lil cheech]

I did a lil soul searching the last month or two after I broke up with the woman. I was reviewing the whole relationship (it was horrible) but I realized when she said she loved me I didn't love her back even though I convinced myself and everyone around me that I did I did still say I loved her back but I didn't. I listened to her bullshit,let her call me every night for two hours , ffs I even cut down on the dope my hormone filled body was convinced that I loved this woman but deep down I knew all I wanted to do was pack her and nothing else and she literally could of been anyone else (preferably someone id enjoy spending time with). I hated thinking about this but I knew it was true I felt so trapped and bored in the relationship and trust me she was far from boring. this was also my first relationship and will be my last. instead of going through all this relationship stuff I have no interest in being a part of I'm going to take the easy way out and join tinder or order a hooker when I become of age.

 

a lot of the things people say on this form and most people here sound like they went through the same shit I did feeling the need to "like" someone, depression of being single prior to having your first relationship, just wanting to be friends with your physical partner but I'm not sure I guess I had crushes but I just was attracted to them and had no desire to actually be in a relationship with.

 

 

we stopped checking for monsters under our bed because we realized they were inside of us

-the joker

[Blackscarlet666]

Personally, I can relate to this. Ive dated for the emotional support in a relationship and for sexual pleasure when I wanted only that, nothing else. No romance, no attachments. I guess it depends on how you feel. I've always felt like a huge asshole until I found that aromanticism was a thing. It's "normal" to lust over people unless you just can't, like asexual people, and if you reverse that it's "normal" to feel a romantic attraction, unless you just can't. I find it impressive you actually tried to please the other person. I wasn't the same way. I'm cold hearted when it comes to that gross romance stuff. You are In no way an asshole. Welcome wo the Aro life @lil cheech. And who knows you might not Always feel this way.  But it's now that matters, not later.