algebraicresc

Hi! I’m Ava :) im 15 and an introvert, looking for some friends :) i identify as omni-oriented aroace i love playing piano and classical music (literally will not shut up about it if we get to the right topic) I also listen to pop music i also like coding, crocheting (super beginner), and being online

Same! Same! Yeah. It’s too hazy to know 100%. I was just trying to figure out if I was “qualified” to identify as fully aro since all my other crushes were not romantic. But then it doesn’t matter because I’m just gonna call myself “aro” anyway because it could also refer to arospec.

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So I’ve always thought I had a romantic crush on this guy back in 6th grade, but now I’m not so sure. Thinking back (and after reading my old cringy journal entries) I was just following him around the school hoping to be able to talk to him. I vaguely thought that I would like to date/kiss/marry him but honestly didn’t really think about those romantic things that much. maybe it was just amatonormativity and I was just conditioned to want these things, idk. The main thing I felt was a strong kind of euphoria every time we had an ordinary interaction, and maybe that could also be platonic? Also, this crush started as one of those fake crushes where you pick a random person from the class because someone asked who your crush was but you really felt nothing toward them. But then at one point it suddenly became “real” and I started feeling REALLY happy and excited just to see him or talk to him, etc. But again I’m not sure if this is just platonic. At one point I made him a card asking him if he would like to be my boyfriend, but he said no. I remember on that day I was mostly embarrassed but not sad, and I almost had to remind myself to be sad. But after that I started to genuinely feel sad which lasted for months. (But I wonder if that sadness was just because we couldn’t be friends or something? (Not really.) I have no idea. I barely remember it since it was so long ago.) also I think I may have just asked him to be my boyfriend because I assumed it was a crush and not because I really wanted it. Or because I didn’t really understand what being boyfriends/girlfriends entailed. Idk. I also think the same type of elation when interacting with him was present in some of my squishes but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Anyway, does this sound like a crush to you?

I can definitely relate to this. It happens both ways for me - sometimes I feel more attraction when I’m with a friend, and sometimes I feel more attraction when I’m not with a friend. In my experience (as a lonely person) I miss my friends a lot. Especially when I experience strong (what I call) platonic attraction - I would think about them at least once for every hour that they are gone. I also usually fantasize - somewhat frequently - about someone I have a strong squish on. Idk how typical my experience is tho

Imagine two people who are very much aesthetically and sensually attracted to each other. They are best friends / in a QPR. They regularly engage in kissing and cuddling, etc, traditionally romantic stuff. How would this be different from a traditional allo romantic relationship? If i were to try and answer this, I’d say the only difference would be that they don’t experience “romantic attraction” for each other… But that’s the thing! I have no idea what that means, or exactly how different the lack of romantic attraction would cause this relationship to be from a romantic one. (Maybe that’s a sign that I’m aro haha). The reason I’m asking this is because Ive been questioning how aro I am and the above situation seems pretty desirable to me. (I do experience aesthetic, sensual, and platonic attraction. I also think I may be either bellusromantic or cupioromantic. I am pretty interested in kissing in a non-romantic context. Additionally. at some point I might try having a romantic relationship just to see what it’s like, since I’ve never been in one before.) So because of all this, I feel very not-aro, because so many components of my experience / (hypothetically) desired relationship are similar to the allo experience. So I’m asking this question to find out just how far from allo-ness I am. What do you guys think?