katicha

8 minutes ago, DannyFenton123 said:

I'm sorry that happened. It's in no way selfish to break off something like that

I know- if anything, it was better for the guy because I simply couldn't love him and he would've ended up getting super hurt ^^' So yeah, I was kinda surprised when my friend told me that because !?!?!!???????! How? cx 

That aromantic moment when you try to explain to your friend that the reason you broke up with you your ex-boyfriend is that even though he was everything you've ever wanted, you didn't have feelings for him, 

and he replies with "It's selfish of you." 

and "It's unfair for the guy."

That aromantic moment when your teacher tries to argue with you that romantic love isn't necessary to being a complete human being. 

Just....casually going to leave this here *cough*

34 minutes ago, hangryeowyn said:

I was raised in a conservative Baptist church. These days I go to a more modern non-denominational church that's a lot more relaxed about single/not single. I think it helps that most of the congregation is 18-25 age group because it's in a college town and that's not as much of a hot issue as it was in my hometown which was very middle class mandatory picket fence culture. 

 

The tricky thing for me when it comes to discussing this kind of thing with other Christians is that there's this huge stigma against sex outside of marriage. I'm not asexual. I do want sex, but I don't want the traditional romantic marriage that those in the church would be used to. Barring a platonic marriage, in their eyes I would be "living in sin" by either cohabitating or generally having sex outside of marriage. So at this point I not only have to fight against those who have a problem with being single (Hellooooo, Paul anyone??), I also have to wrestle with the sex part. I personally don't see a problem with it, but I've only met one other Christian who agrees with me. 

Oooh That's actually very nice c: I'm glad you've found a place like that c:

Though, keep in mind that no matter the choices you make, there will always be someone to criticize it. It's important to learn that not everyone will agree with us and that's okay. We can't control anyting but ourselves. That said, I think that if you're confident that what you're doing is approved by God, then only you can know about it! c:

15 hours ago, Tal Shi'ar said:

In spaces like that, its usually better off to avoid the subject all together, lest it turn ugly. Also, getting a partner should be something you actually want, not something that you think you have to do to fit in, or something others tell you that you should do.

True, true. Though I want my partner in crime to be christian too, so I think that finding someone for me is going to be really, really hard. But yeah, I intend on doing what I know is right for me, and what God thinks is better for me c:

10 hours ago, deltaX said:

I grew up in a Catholic environment, and I still practice Christianity today.  For me, I was able to justify my orientation by religious doctrine.  There are three vocations that God can call you to be a part of- the religious life, the married life, and the single life- and I see the fact that God made me aro ace as a way to call me into the single life.  I don't know how or why I was meant to be single rather than married or religious, but I can feel that I am.

 

As for how to come out to others in a Christian environment- I don't really know. I think that in a perfect world Christians would accept you for who are because of Jesus' call to love all people, but as you probably know that isn't always the case.  I know, for example, my parents are the type to judge people in the LGBT community as being special snowflakes seeing attention, so although I think they'd be okay if I never married, I don't think I can ever really "come out" to them as aro.

This is actually extremely interesting. I know that Paul actually encouraged people to be single if they wanted to be, so I know that God can be calling me to the single life. Though, I don't know- It's kind of hard for me, giving this up. I'd like to share my life with a best friend or a qp partner or something, yet I want to do what God has in mind for me, so I guess I'll pray and see. I'm happy for you, that you've found what He wants for you c: 

I don't think I will ever come out as aro are openly because of those reasons, but I'd like to tell one of my close friends. I'm just- unsure if they'll invalidate it. I mean- I'm kinda used to it by now, but sometimes I want to like make a joke about it but then I remember that they don't know and it's like -ah, right.

1 hour ago, Blue Phoenix Ace said:

Born and raised Catholic. Now a recovering Catholic.

 

I'm pretty sure the Bible mentions singlehood being a blessing in several places. The problem most people would have is if you got into a platonic relationship, somewhere between singlehood and marriage. To not get married might be considered "sinful" as they assume what you are doing in your bedroom (when you aren't if you are ace, and isn't really harmful anyway).

 

As for being a "special snowflake", people are just using that as an insult. You are bearing this important facet of yourself to be truthful and honest, and they throw that snowflake crap back in your face. You've got a few crappy options, according to these folk:

• Live a miserable life to conform to other people's expectations
• Lie about yourself to appear to conform to their expectations, which is miserable
• Tell the truth and be labelled an attention seeking "special snowflake"

So see, no matter what you do here, you can't win. In my opinion, it's better to tell the truth if you feel like doing so. Those people can't be won over anyway, better to lead the life the way you want to and be open about it.

Oooh I'm happy for you c:

But yeah, I completely agree with you.

I'm usually a rather private person, but I'd like to tell only some specific people, though I'm really not sure at all because of those reasons and I don't know if it would change anything at all ^^' It's just- you know, the feeling of being ridiculed isn't nice, since I feel like that's the way some christians will answer, y'know. Blerh. Oh well ^^'

1 hour ago, eddie said:

Thankful I'm not religious

Actually, it's not that bad at all! c: Sure, just like @DannyFenton123 said, there's bad people everywhere, but not all of us are bad! Plus, there are lots of good sides to being spiritual! It's just a matter of point of view, I think c: 

There are good and bad sides to everything! 

Just now, DeMorgan said:

He just wants to be accepted,

 Probably. 

I mean- I also turn to dark magic and split my soul into 7 parts when I don't feel accepted. So I guess I understand him, yeah c:

Just now, DeMorgan said:

 

He's just misunderstood...

I'm sure a talk with him would give him the little push he needs to become who he's always wanted to be, yes c:

Ooooh, true. Though Voldemort is a being of hatred, made by hate, made to hate. So I'm not sure we could really give him any headcanon, but yeah, he might very well be asexual aromantic if he had attraction to people c:

I headcanon Remus Lupin as demiromantic asexual, honestly. I have a thing for Marauders' era okay.

Pacific Rim, maybe? 0-0

I once had boyfriend! And I really, really tried to get into it and all, but I simply couldn't find the interest- it felt so boring and I hated kissing and always holding hands and always having to be close and touch and everything. And the moment I realized I didn't love him, I left him, and that was that. It felt so suffocating, frankly. Later on, I also realized I was trying to convince myself I loved him. 

So yeah basically I got myself into this because I thought I had feelings for him, or more that I was supposed to have feelings for him because he was the perfect person. (Advice: don't do that)

Hi people~

I wasn't too sure where exactly to create this topic, but decided that this would be the most relevant category to the subject of this discussion. 

I wanted to know if any of you are christian?

If so, do you intend to share your romantic attraction with other people, since marriage and kids are so well seen in the christian community?

I'm scared of showing myself as anything but straight since every time I try to bring up the topic of me not necessarily wanting to get married or anything, everyone always tells me "Ohh you'll see, you'll see." (And maybe it's true, but eh.)

And aromanticism and asexuality are so unknown that people would immediately see me as someone who tries to be a special snowflake and all. I'm not feeling pressurized to come out, I just would like to find someone to spend my life with, maybe? Or to be able to share it without being immediately invalidated?