Fox

4 hours ago, Picklethewickle said:

Has anyone read A Guide to the Dragon World?

I've read it! I liked it a lot, you get little snippets of old history from the world, and conversations through letters between the main characters, which were fun. And the pictures were fantastic!

1. Voidpunk aro. Yeah, I like voidpunk as a concept.

2. Nonhuman. I can relate to this, I don't always feel human, or human "enough."

3. Cups. It says I am focused on my feelings, which I often am. It also says I think about relationships, which I don't really?

4. Aromantic. Loyal, sure. Dependable? Maybe not, I tend to cancel plans often, but when a friend needs me I can be there. I definitely find familiarity comforting and am very much a homebody.

2 hours ago, Funny Individual said:

@Fox TBH, I always thought that platonic attraction applied to family or aquaintences, because with family its usually the strongest and easiest to identify. You care for your family just because you live together, you're bonded to them in an incredibly strong way. You might be. The main thing is that platonic attraction USUALLY doesn't lead to any fantasizing, period. You might just look forward to certain things("me and mabel are going out to brunch next saturday! so great to catch up!" that sort of thing). TBF, I haven't felt queerplatonic attraction so I don't know how different it is. Even for best friends, you love them to death but you don't think about them outside of when you're interacting

That makes sense. I'm wondering if the fantasizing about friends is more along the lines of queerplatonic attraction? Depends on how the person wants to identify it, especially since platonic vs. queerplatonic doesn't seem to be clearly defined. 

Along similar lines, how common is it to miss your friends? I basically never miss them, and feel awkward whenever they say they miss me. That's part of why I wonder if my platonic attraction is different. But maybe it's due to another reason, I'm not sure.

33 minutes ago, Funny Individual said:

I mean, I'm alloplatonic but except for VERY close friends and family do I really feel happy or excited when thinking about them and not just neutral. Even friends who I'm relatively close with I will just not think about them if I don't see them or if I do think about them it'll be about what we last did together and not about the person themselves. So as an alloplatonic I relate to a lot of your feelings. I think the thing is that platonic attraction is just kind of...weaker compared to other attractions and the people you are friends with/platonically attracted to rarely enter your mind too often even if you are very excited to see them when they're around

I see, thanks for sharing! 

I feel like romantic attraction has better parameters than platonic attraction when defining it. Like there are specific experiences associated with romantic attraction (butterflies, thinking about them a lot romantically, fantasizing romantically, etc.) But are there any for platonic attraction? I also get confused cause platonic can sometimes be mixed with queerplatonic or familial, and I have a hard time telling the difference and overlap between the three. Maybe I'm mixing up platonic and queerplatonic in trying to understand my attraction here?

2 hours ago, smac n cheese said:

I've seen people send death threats to people who don't agree with them about their ships for some reason? like, what????????????????

That's wild, the internet is crazy sometimes!

What are y'all's favorite tribe and why? I have a hard time choosing but I like icewings, rainwings, and silkwings. Icewings because I love the their snowy aesthetic (though being an icewing in the palace sounds terrible). Rainwing because I'd love to lounge around in the sun eating fruit all day myself, also their color changing scales are cool. And silkwings cause they're really pretty and I like their silk powers.

13 minutes ago, smac n cheese said:

oh, that's great! 

I've started being on WoF Tumblr so often and WOW it surprised me how big the Moon-Winter-Qibli shipping debate was. like JEEZ I have my opinions about that too but don't hate other people for their ships-

Haha yeah, people can get fired up about that for some reason. I've never been much of a shipper myself so I don't quite understand. If I were to ship them I'd probably do Qwinter (or is it Quinter?) cause I find their dynamic so entertaining, but I also like the Moonbli ship too. But like, no judgement on whatever ship you prefer. It's all just for fun.

2 minutes ago, smac n cheese said:

I'm on book 8 rn, but I'm hoping to finish the second arc soon, it's also my favorite so far!

Book 8 is one of my favorites! I found it the most comedic out of all of them. I loved getting to see Peril's internal world.

1 minute ago, smac n cheese said:

mine's Sunny, but Qibli and Peril are close :)

All excellent choices!

I'm torn between Peril and Moon as my favorites. I also really like Turtle and Cricket. 

Have you read all three arcs? The second arc is my favorite, I've read it too many times to count.

I've noticed that I can feel a rush of platonic attraction (or affection or love, depending on the person) when I am interacting with a friend, but once we part ways, I have a hard time feeling that again without their presence. When I'm not around them, I kind of forget what those feelings feel like, and I feel neutral towards them; until I see them again and the situation creates those feelings again. I genuinely struggle with remembering and recapturing those feelings when we're not together. I kind of describe it like I lack emotional object permanence with my friends lol (I am neurodivergent so maybe that's part of it?) 

Right now I'm calling this "flux," as I understand the levels of attraction to change. And that the fluctuations depends on the specific circumstance of hanging out.

I'm wondering if anyone can relate to "only feeling attraction when you're with them" or "attraction but only under specific circumstances" or "fluctuating attraction." I'm also wondering what you all think generally about this situation. Is it the way attraction just is, or do you feel constant attraction when you're attracted to someone (in whatever way)?

Let me know if this posted in the wrong section, I wasn't sure where to put it

1 hour ago, smac n cheese said:

I'M OFFENDED I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!!!!!

I'm offended at how much I love your new pfp! (It's Sunny right?) (I feel like I'm not fitting into the thread topic anymore lol)

8 minutes ago, smac n cheese said:

I'M OFFENDED BC I DON'T KNOW ANYONE ON HERE WHO READS WOF

I'm offended that you assume I haven't been obsessing over WoF since it first came out

3 hours ago, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

Bird Beak in Bumble Wings

I like it! Is there perhaps asexual representation with not relating to "the birds and the bees"? 

I've come to understand that, really the only gender identities I shied away from labeling myself with were 100% male and 100% female. I've felt close to it, and perhaps demiboy/demigirl or fem/masc nonbinary could describe me on different days. I've realized gender fluidity is just about a changing gender, and I don't need to necessarily identify as 100% man or 100% woman at any given point to be considered gender fluid. (If I am mistaken here though, please correct me, this is just how I'm understanding it right now.)

2 minutes ago, smac n cheese said:

This could mean you're genderfluid, you should probably look it up! Of course, no one can tell you what you identify as, and it may not be the right label for you, but it's a suggestion.

Thank you for the suggestion! I am considering that label right now, and it's nice to hear from another person. 

My only reservation with it, is does it mean your identity is clearly changing? Because I'm not sure if it's my identity that is changing, or my gender expression. Or maybe my expression is indicative of my identity? Maybe I'm overthinking this lol

I know the definition is that it's an innate, internal sense of what your gender is. Can anyone elaborate on what this sense feels like? Is it something you just know?

I have inclinations towards different gender expressions on different days. Like, one day I'll want to wear feminine clothing, and another day masculine clothing. Some days I'll want a male body, and other days a female body, and most days I don't really care. Are these gender expressions, or are they indications of a changing gender identity? What's really the difference or the connection between gender identity and gender expression? 

I don't really understand how to "sense" or "know" my gender, I just understand some days I feel like a skirt and other days a sweatshirt (for example.)

Any help or advice would be appreciated, thank you.

I've been struggling with feeling happy with my aromantic identity lately, this thread helped a lot :)

I'm realizing I have a lot of freedom being aro and single. I can do what I truly want to do in life without being influenced by the decisions and opinions of another. So, that's pretty cool.

On 12/28/2023 at 2:20 PM, AroAcedragon13 said:

do i need a gender identity?

I know there's a lot of pressure to have labeled identities (at least I feel there is), but gender is such a personal, complex experience that the concept of labeling oneself and having defined identities certainly won't appeal to everyone. It's perfectly okay to not have any identities or labels. 

True, English and Japanese

TPBM likes tea

I think I started identifying as ace when I was around 13 or 14. As for aro, probably around 16? I have questioned since then, and there were a couple moments where I thought I was gray-aroace or even allo, and I'm still figuring it out to this day. Right now I'm pretty comfortable with the term aroace. Maybe it'll change in the future. Maybe it won't. Who knows?

Also, welcome to the forum!

12 hours ago, dordor said:

I am sorry you had to go through that❤ 

Happy to help ❤

Thank you, I appreciate it ❤️

17 hours ago, dordor said:

Maybe if we weren't aromantic our past partners wouldn't have gotten so toxic... could it be the reason??

I think it depends on the situation, but for me it was like my aromanticism exacerbated his pre-existing insecurities and toxic traits.

Spoiler/trigger warning for toxic relationships:

I’ve been in two romantic relationships, before I realized I am (probably) aromantic. The first one, I was asked out by a friend, and I had never thought of liking them before but was like “sure, why not” (in my head lol). So we dated, but it was a little odd because we rarely did anything romantic. We never held hands, never kissed, or said I love you. I was sort of wondering if it would ever happen, but more out of confusion rather than a desire to do those things. The only romantic thing we did was send mushy texts to each other, which I half liked, half felt grossed out by. Anyways, I realized I didn’t feel anything towards them so we broke up. Then, I thought I felt attraction towards another friend and asked him out. I’m still not sure what I was really feeling then to this day, but as the relationship progressed it became clear he liked me in a different way than I liked him. I felt uncomfortable doing romantic things with him, but I tried to convince myself that I liked it because we were in a relationship, and I did indeed care for him a lot. It was just…in a different way. There was also the issue that he became possessive and toxic, and I will admit I was probably not the best at communicating myself, but we were young, I didn’t know...It wasn’t until a year later after breaking up that I realized I could be aromantic. Since then I feel relieved that I don’t have to be in a relationship, and every now and then I think I may feel attraction, but I feel a lot freer knowing I don’t have to force myself into relationships I’m uncomfortable with.

I wasn't a super active member in the first place, but I left for a couple months and felt a little awkward just jumping back in. So hello again, I'm back! 

I took a break because I thought I felt attraction and started to feel out of place here, but then I realized it might not have been attraction? I'm not really sure what it was, I'm still figuring it out. I'm still definitely somewhere on the aroace spectrum, just not sure where yet. Anyways, hope y'all are doing well, I'm excited to be back ^o^

Hello! Welcome! What is your favorite gemstone? I'm a fan of rocks and the like :D

(I'm still fairly new myself but) Hello and welcome! Hope you enjoy your time here!