CrisisApple

it’s been a year since i discovered that i’m grayromantic.

for the longest time, i was confused and frustrated by my ambivalence, apathy, and even repulsion towards romance, and while i had the capacity to like people romantically, it was rare, and it never seemed to reach the level of intensity others experience. i felt alienated from my peers and overplayed or even feigned my attraction to fit in with them, all the while having no real interest in pursuing romantic relationships, no significant romantic attraction to anyone, and never being able to relate to my friends.

the more i learned about aromanticism, the more things started to make sense. my greyromantic identity was something i discovered long after realizing i wasn’t straight, wasn’t cis, and wasn’t allosexual, so it wasn’t something that scared me. i was just relieved to finally understand why i felt the way i did and to be able to stop waiting around for feelings i didn’t have and stop trying to force attraction that wasn’t natural to me. my greyromanticism had been there all along. it felt like coming home.

that’s not to say i never worry. it still bothers me sometimes that i don’t relate to my allo peers, and i still fear how my parents will react to the fact i likely won’t get married, but these things were always true, regardless of how i labeled myself. this is who i am, i love who i am, and i wouldn’t change it if i could. being aro is beautiful.

i’m immune to valentine’s day sadness! i don’t waste time on crushes! i don’t need a romantic parter to feel fulfilled! my favorite color is green! i love being grayromantic and it’s something to be celebrated!!

this aromantic spectrum awareness week, i’m making myself some aro spectrum pride pins, reading Loveless by Alice Oseman (finally, it’s been on my shelf for months!) and taking the time to learn about other identities and facets of the aro community. i implore you to celebrate in your own way too. Aros all across the spectrum, you are amazing, your aromanticism is amazing, happy aro week!