To put it bluntly, gender is just a social construct.
A transwoman is still a woman even when/if she is misgendered, so gender doesn't equal pronouns or outside perception of a person/you. A feminine man is still a man even if he wears a dress, so it isn't physical presentation of masculinity/femininity/androgyny.
Gender can be seen as rules, physical/social presentation, and traits pushed upon a person based on their assigned sex. So, trans people have-in a sense-reclaimed the idea of gender to be nothing but a feeling, which consequentially strips societal confines from gender. That said, it... doesn't have a definition.
There's are theories of dysphoria and the theories of brain sex. There's theories and discussions of the feeling of gender. But there's no clear cut answer.
So? Gender is whatever you want it to be. Whatever makes you happy.
