Debbie Fan

I had a very nice roommate, who was also one of my best friends, got extremely sad when her boyfriend had to go to another country (more chances for his own career). One day she went back to the dorm crying, but I pretended sleeping, bc I didn't know how to comfort her. Tbh I didn't really understand why a couple must stay together to maintain their relationship. At that time I thought her boyfriend's decision was nothing wrong, cuz life is not all about romance. Actually I thought it was my roommate's fault to try to bind her boyfriend in the same place with her. But I couldn't tell her because that would definitely hurt her feelings. It was only some years later when someone else told me that people in romantic relationship had the desire for physical contact that I understood why my roommate was so sad back then - I think that's one very obvious sign that I'm aro. Some other signs: when I see couples cuddling on the streets I feel extremely uncomfortable and just look away - basically every time. The same for TV drama and movies - the romantic scenes makes me so annoyed. I get more annoyed when people keep on asking me about my own relationships without noticing that I get discomfort already. I remember very clearly that I got very angry when a girl in the party said to me "wish you find a boyfriend quickly too" (almost everyone in that party had a boyfriend/girlfriend except me). I knew she was just trying to be friendly, but I felt so offended and looked down upon. Why I was assumed to be anxious for not having a boyfriend? One last sign: I remember two roommates told me that I was "different" when talking about relationships. The first one was 2 or 3 years ago, who said "Most people are inclined to find a romantic partner, otherwise they feel lonely. Not everyone is as tough as you are when living alone." The second was just a couple of months ago, who said "Your values for relationships are so different from the tradition". Actually I didn't notice they were signs of being aro at those moment. But looking back now, it was so obvious that people who knew me well made it explicit into the word "different". They just fit so well with the notion of aromanticism.