A_Mess

Not sure why, but today I ended up thinking a lot about what I'll say when I eventually come out to my parents and I'm pretty sure I'll need a powerpoint presentation to get the point across 😅

I'm not planning to for a while, though. Guess my brain was just hellbent on doing anything but focusing on studying 🤣

Just added Ace to my orientation to complete the set 🎉

I kind of figured I would come to this conclusion eventually so it wasn't nearly as big of a deal to me this time.

It is funny that it took until now though because there was a short stint in high school that I used the Asexual label because my friends said I should. I don't remember what prompted it back then but they clearly knew better than me 😅

My Valentine's Day earrings 

I've recently watched two shows recently that made me feel some type of way about my own aromanticism. I don't really have any coherent points to make; I'm just ranting a little.

The first was Call of the Night, which is the one of the few anime I've seen with a main character that's like... clearly aromantic. I related a lot with the moments where he talked about not understanding romantic love and how much he was trying to fall in love with the female lead. I appreciated these moments but was expecting him to start falling in love any second, and I was really pleasantly surprised that no, he actually didn't magically start to change. There was a fair amount of focus put on him trying to understand himself and his own feelings. I've only seen the anime so far and I'm holding out hope in the manga that he just realizes that he's aromantic and life goes on, but his entire goal in the story is to fall in love with a vampire so I'm prepared for disappointment. If it turns out that he was actually demi or something I guess that'd be fine, I'd just feel really let down since I was happy about feeling represented for once.

The second was Romantic Killer. I loved the show! Thought it was cute and funny and can't wait for the second season! But I gotta say, that first episode might have ticked me off a little bit >.< . The main character was just minding her own business enjoying the things that made her happy and not giving a single f about romance when this little s*** shows up, takes all of her favorite things away, and forces her to make romance a priority. Like, I know it isn't that deep. It's just a silly premise for a romantic comedy, but damn. As someone who has only recently come to terms with the fact that romance never will have a place in my life--because it literally can't--that felt like a knife to the chest. My friend who had recommended this show to me said that the first episode reminded them of me, which gave me one of these moments:

Today I had a long and involved conversation about aromanticism with a friend. It wasn't planned, but they had a lot of questions about my own experience and where exactly the line is between romantic love and deep platonic love. It was hard for me explain since I have less than zero idea what romantic love feels like, but I was at least able to articulate at what point certain behaviors cause me to feel uncomfortable (it has a lot to do with the implied or perceived intention behind them). We watched this video together and occasionally paused to discuss or do more research and it was overall pretty fun!