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Posts posted by PerformativeSurprise

  1. Could she have just forgotten? If she stays really busy, she might not remember that she was supposed to contact you. I'm really bad about stuff like that; I often forget to contact people, and it has nothing to do with how much I like them or want to hang out.  I just forget. 


    If you really want to hang out with her, I would try to mention it again casually.  I wouldn't make it sound serious though--keep it lighthearted if you're worried about her feeling pressured.  For me personally, if someone comes on too strong or intense at first I can get pretty uncomfortable, so being casual works better for me. 

    • Like 4
  2. That sounds terrifying, @DannyFenton123! I feel exactly the same way about bugs.  I've done the same thing--caught a bug under something and weighted it down, waiting for it to die :ph34r:.  When I was younger I would just yell "bug!!!" and wait for one of my parents to get it :D . No joke, although I prefer living alone now, I've actually wondered if I should live with someone just so they can get bugs for me. 

  3. 11 hours ago, Zemaddog said:

    I've never even tried. I have a feeling that this is due to my individualism. I have a strong sense of self and I try to do what ever I feel is best, regardless what others think. I also surrounded myself with people who didn't care what others thought of them.


    I have to say that I never really felt pressured. More, lightly nudged. Or at least that's what it felt like. I didn't really pay attention because I didn't really care.


    My experience is the same.  The idea always seemed so ridiculous to me that I never even thought to try, to be honest.  I wouldn't say that I ever felt pressured about it, but I've certainly felt judged for it.  That never was incentive enough for me to try though. I'm not really susceptible to peer pressure :) 

    • Like 2
  4. 3 hours ago, Simowl said:

    Some people may have spiritual/religious beliefs of their own which don't follow an organised religion, but still believe in some sort of god (I guess?)


    This is true. It's certainly possible to believe there is a spiritual component to the universe without being religious.  I've known people who are are theistic or spiritual, but don't follow any particular religious doctrine.

    • Like 2
  5. 20 hours ago, Quinoa said:


    That's lucky! People who went to school here (the US) always say how sad it is that homeschoolers don't go to the prom, but I'm so glad I avoided that experience, along wit the other romantic school events! 


    There was actually a really large homeschool group in my area when I was a teen, and they held a homeschool prom, which I avoided.  I remember being confused that everyone else didn't seem to see the lack of prom as a benefit of being homeschooled like I did. 

    • Like 1
  6. Another atheist here, but I was raised in a devout Christian Evangelical home, and I grew up in the Bible Belt.  I got myself out of the church when I was a teenager.  Everyone from my hometown thinks I'm a heathen now :) .

    • Like 8
  7. 3 hours ago, aroMa(n)tisse said:

    I've googled for 'papo' and it turns out to be a French figurine manufacturer :P 


    Also, I thought that 'papo' is a variation of 'papi' (Spanish 'daddy'), and I was right - that's how Urban Dictionary defines it.


    I immediately thought of the Korean word 바보, sometimes romanized as "papo," which means "idiot." So that would make this the idiot cult :D

    • Like 6
  8. 6 hours ago, Cassiopeia said:



    Well, you can pay for a massage, that is the closest you can get. There are people specializing in back rubs or gentle touch...or hot stones, sticks or rollers if you are kinky like that. 9_9 (Did I just call massage salons non-sexual brothels? Oh dear...but its kinda true?).



    There are also professional cuddle services.  I know they exist in the US and UK, at least, although I'm not sure if it's a thing elsewhere.  You can pay a "professional cuddler" for a session, and the contracts usually specify it has to remain platonic :) 

    • Like 1
  9. 16 hours ago, EveryZig said:

    Really though I don't get what gender is aside from gender stereotypes/roles either. I think that there are some gendered people who consciously experience gender (like men who actively strive to be and feel pride in being "manly"), but there are other gendered people for whom gender is subconscious unless brought to their attention by discomfort at being treated or bodied in a way contradicting their gender. I can't recall having an experience like that so I can't be sure, but I would guess I am probably in the latter of those. I don't feel actively not male, so I figure it makes sense to stick with male unless I have a reason otherwise.


    I feel the same way.  I don't get gender at all and have never understood how people know their gender in a personal (as opposed to socially determined) way.  I feel zero connection to any gender identity or label and find it completely irrelevant to my life. I go with female 'cause that's how everyone else sees me, and I don't have enough of a reason to go to the trouble of contradicting it.   So I guess I'm "female" out of laziness.  

    • Like 1
  10. 22 hours ago, Rebekah said:

    Also, I never really understood the idea of sharing a bed. Like, how am I supposed to sleep when I'm overheating because someone is next to me and every time I fidget I risk waking them up?!


    I can completely relate.   I've had to share a bed with friends and family members on occasion, and I hate it.  When I was little, I distinctly remember wondering how people in romantic relationships dealt with this problem.  Nobody could possibly want to share a bed, right? I remember assuming this was just another price you had to pay if you got married xD

    • Like 16

    22 hours ago, Simowl said:

    Romantic orientation. Being an (...grey??) ace doesn't really feel like it's had much impact on my life. I thought about it, ID'd with it, and moved on. But being aro, that I struggled with a lot more, made me feel a lot more excluded and took a lot longer to accept. Not following the traditional "dating lifestyle" has a much larger impact on my life, I feel.


    Same.  Being aro affects the way I relate to people and society in general much more strongly than being ace does.  Also, like others have pointed out, romantic orientation is often more visible.  I can't count the number of times I've been interrogated about whether or not I'm dating, have a partner, etc. and subsequently judged for my choice to be single. On the other hand, I don't typically get interrogated about my sex life.

    • Like 4
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