It all was very obvious objectively, but I couldn't understand and accept it. A first thing is that when I got asked out by a guy, the direct option that came to me was to reject him, and my excuse was that "I wasn't ready to get in a relationship with anyone".
I got asked out a second time by a girl, she was cool and I thought I was panromantic so I accepted. During two months, i questioned my feelings for her, felt bad about lying to her and me, made plans on how to break with her, feared everytime she talked about "us" in a few months... My best friend also told me I was obviously aro.
Then my ex (i had difficulties calling her my girlfriend too) finally asked me what was wrong, I said nothing. She asked me again by message, and I told her. We agreed to stay friends but I couldn't stand the idea of her not liking the way I did so I avoided her.
For sure I didn't act right, people suffered because of me, but this is what it is... I still think that I wouldn't accept someone that likes me to stay my friend. There's way too much anxiety in this idea.