Thiel

For me it was straight, bi (I had a squish on a female friend), straight again but not wanting a serious relationship, and then AlloAro.

Feliz Navidad (Spanish)

I would love to live alone with two cats. It would be perfect if I could live close to my friends, like they did in Friends. 

I'm AroAllo.

I recently discovered I was aro and I have to say that I find the term Allo a bit strange. I'm not against it but I think the terms 'romantic' and 'sexual' would be easier to use when talking to people who aren't into the LBGT+ community, specially if alloaro/allosexual sounds like 'queer' in your language. I think they also would be easier to translate to other languages.

But, as I said, I'm not against it and I know it's already a common terminology in the aspects community. Although aroallo sounds way better than arosexual? Arosex? 

Si, bastante lejos ?

No conozco a ningún arromántico, pero tampoco sabía nada del arromanticismo (ni que yo lo era) hasta hace unos meses, así que no me sorprende. Y tú?

EWWW! I had to Google it and now I will have nightmares.

Chocolate-covered coffee beans

Manhole

True.

TPBM has read The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

I am offended because you didn't capitalized Coco's name

From Madrid, and you?

Hi,

I'm also from Spain!

I love reading, mainly fantasy (I love stories about wizards and game-like worlds), but I enjoy sci-fi and thrillers too and some times romantic stories if they have a good plot. I also enjoy writing, and going to the theatre, musicals and stand-up comedy shows. 

Personality wise, I'm more of an introvert specially when meeting new people.

I've had 3 boyfriends and 2 friends with benefits. I definitely feel more comfortable having a FWB than a boyfriend.

There is also the stigma associated to middle aged single adults (like there is something wrong with them and that's why they are single)

I'm OK with couples as long as they aren't arguing or being super cheesy and ignoring me.

2 hours ago, ewitscas said:

and if its the opposite of asexual, which is non-sexual, does that mean all-sexual? and how does this differ from pansexual if so? is it just because allo belongs under an aro umbrella?

something has been lost in translation i think?

Allosexual means that you feel sexual attraction. You can be allosexual (because you feel sexual attraction) and heterosexual, homo, bi or pan (because of the gender you are sexualy attracted to).

5 hours ago, ewitscas said:

this actually sounds pretty spot on about the type of fwb relationship due to the less suffocating feeling; i think that would make me most comfortable. the only issue there is i find the idea of sex with a person that is also having sex with others sort of off-putting. it probably wouldn't make me turn away completely, so there's that, lol.

 

Then you might want a QPR.

First of all, you're not broken. It's normal to be confused when you realize that you don't feel the same way most people do. You're valid and the type of relationship you want is valid too.

10 hours ago, ewitscas said:

i don't like having to give constant attention to someone. i like having my space, and i can't stand the idea of someone controlling me with a relationship. i like the idea of being on my own. i like the idea of being able to focus on friendships instead of just a romantic relationship that, really, just makes me wish i had someone to trust and be friends with for sex without all the intense attachments of romantic relationships and demands. i don't want to have to choose to repress my happiness to keep someone else happy. i want to be happy when and if i am making others happy in some way.

I'm not sure if this will help you, but I feel the same way. I prefer a friends with benefits relationship to a romantic relationship because it is way less suffocating. I also thought I had crushes and was in love with people, but I recently realized it was just a mix of platonic and sexual attraction.

My only suggestion is that you research about the different types of attraction and think about your current and past relationships to see if they fit somewhere. 

19 hours ago, ArothrutheMoon said:

But at the same time, the effort it takes to come out as aro? Absolutely ridiculous. If any group can understand y'all can, I'm sure. The "PowerPoint", the definitions, the defense that it can even exist, that there's nothing wrong with me, that I don't need to be "fixed"—it's exhausting, especially when I'm dealing w my own internalized aphobia at the same time.

I'm possibly agender, heterosexual and aromantic, and I'm not out to anyone IRL. When my friends ask, I simply say I don't want a relationship and I'm just looking for a FWB. So for them I'm a cishet woman too busy for a relationship. I don't think they would have any problem with it, but like you, I just feel it's too much effort to describe agender or aromantic.

If she can't wear the flag because she's closeted, I think a white ring or some pin or jewelry with an arrow are common aromantic symbols.

I don't believe in soulmates or that you will only be happy with THE ONE. However, I believe there is true love.

I'm not sure if my idea of true love is the same as the rest of the people who have commented and I'm not really sure how to describe it, but the way my parents or my grandparents look at each other and take care of eachother or even the way they bicker and argue makes it so obvious that they undoubtedly love eachother.

However I don't think the kind of love I'm describing is just limited to romantic love. I've seen this between parents and their kids, and also between friends.

So yeah, I think true love exists but it's not necessarily romantic.

@aro_elise Most of my squishes on guys were platonic first and then sexual, but in some of them it happened almost at the same time.

My first squish was a childhood friend but I don't remember exactly at what age it went from friendship to squish... Probably around 10.

I'm curious about how many of you are out as aromantic.

I'm not out and I'm not planning to be anytime soon unless I find a partner, so I would like to know about everyone else.

For those of you that are thinking about telling someone, I hope it goes well!

1. About how many squishes have you experienced in your life?

5-19. This one was difficult because I wasn't sure where the line between friendship and squish is.

2. About how long did your longest squish last?

More than a year. It was actually several years. We even celebrated a fake wedding.

3. Is gender a factor in how/whether you experience squishes?

Yes, squishes on different genders feel different. I'm heterosexual, so squishes on men have a sexual factor too. Also, I think that my squishes on women are stronger and I feel closer to them.

I discovered aromanticism existed a few months ago (I'm on my late 20s) and I would have loved to know it earlier.

I'm alloaro so I thought romantic feelings were a mix of wanting to be someone's friend and sexual attraction. Knowing I was aromantic would have helped me not to get into romantic relationships that were destined to fail, not only for my sake (romantic relationships make me feel trapped) but also because I hurt some of my exboyfriends since they thought I didn't like them.

I also realized that I was never bisexual, I was hetero but had squishes on both men and women, which was confusing because I thought I had a crush on my best friend (I wanted to be in a relationship with her but I could saw her as cute, not sexualy attractive).

Ready player one! The plot was great but the romance was completely unnecessary in my opinion, although it wasn't the worst I've read.

On 10/9/2021 at 11:11 PM, Ashe. said:

One thing I don’t get is why can’t two people of opposite gender be close friends and not be romantically invested in each other? I always was looking for a female friend but so many times had romance inserted in some way either by the person or their friends.

I know!

I had a FWB for 5 years and my friends were obsessed with us becoming a couple. We "broke up" 2 years ago because he met a girl he wanted to date and we're still friends, but my friends still say we would have been a really nice couple even now.

Something I don't get about romantic relationship is being together 24/7. Don't they need time for themselves?