metaphoriclee

I feel that way a quite a bit. Also yee heteronormativity is one helllll of a pain in the ass. I think for me I’m always self-conscious about how men act towards me (especially given I’m femme-presenting in my early twenties). For me (I’m really only talking about myself here, not try to project anything onto you), hypervigilance is part of my trauma response of how men act towards me, because I’ve had so many negative interactions regarding men viewing me a certain way.

I think I felt something similar to this! (though I’m still trying to figure out where I fall on the aro spectrum). For me it felt like the pressure of heteronormativity just went full blast for the 3 months I was in the relationship. I had short, dyed hair that I loved, but felt like I needed to grow it out and have long hair. I liked presenting masculine, but felt like I had to give the more feminine version of myself. Or sometimes he would say something romantic and I would just feel no particular way about it. I felt almost suffocated in a way? But it had nothing to do with him. It’s not until I’m reflecting on all of this after 2.5 years of not wanting a romantic relationship, realizing how I see romantic relationships as very “optional” for the lack of a better word, and picturing a future with maybe a QPR… but not really a romantic one, am I realizing maybe I could be on the aro spectrum.