Grey

I like the word queer for me, since I feel like my aroness makes me different from other people in ways I feel like I need to quantify (to be fair, my gender is definately helping that differentness). I especially like it because then if I need to be "soft out", as in needing to explain a difference between myself and other people but not wanting to teach a quick vocab lesson, I can use queer and most people will back off, at least a little bit. So I use queer as an identity in a broad sense, but if I have the option and the situation calls for it, I'd pick aro (or ace or a short list of gender words, depending on the situation) over queer, if that makes sense.