senACEay_11

1991

On 11/28/2020 at 4:20 PM, cyancat said:

Can't experience any intersectionality if at least one of those things you're too stuck in the closet to talk about/avoid like a wildfire IRL sweat.

In all seriousness though, I'm from a place that definitely doesn't even know something like aromanticism exist. Everyone around me is also very white alsdjfl. There may be like a few Hispanic/Latino people but from where I live that just means the majority of them are conservative as well so... yeah, from what I can tell @ my college, the LGBTQ+ group there is mostly white people too.

Yeah its always difficult when there isn't a lot of diversity in LGBTQ+ spaces. For me, one of the main things that helped me feel validated was seeing both people who did and didn't look like me sharing my orientation. It helped me know that this isn't just a "me" thing, other people feel the exact same way.

I mean, the kissing component of it may just be sensual, and you may have just wanted to hang out with them, thus causing the excitement. This attraction might not have been inherently romantic, although it could have been. I'm not exactly an expert in this area, but that's just my take 

9 hours ago, Skylord said:

Biracial here!! Hispanic and Caucasian, but apparently I don't look it unless I sit in the sun for a while, or if I'm compared to my family, since I don't really look like any of them (I look more like my biological dad, who I tell no one about.) 

Yeah, both my mom and my sister have dark eyes and dark hair, and then there's just me ? I do tan too though, and my hair texture is also another determining factor. 

9 minutes ago, babo_ said:

yayy latine gang!!!

that's so cool!!

Ayy!! My mom's Mexican!

I think if I understood what romantic attraction felt like, it may help me validate the fact that I am truly aro. But, other than that, I don't feel I'm necessarily missing out on too much by not understanding.

Hello! Welcome! 

1988

Sleepy

I'm offended that this thread hasn't been active for three years

Life is wondering why that person thought what they did was a good idea

True!

TPBM has been to Asia 

1985

Welcome to Arocalypse! I hope these forums will help you sort through what you're feeling

Upon first hearing it, I would agree that it may sound feminine. However, if you like it, then you should keep it, if it makes you uncomfortable, then you can change it. If you're indifferent to it, see if you're okay with keeping it or you want to change it. It's all up to you.

1979

Ricotta

1974

There's this really cool character in the Arc of a Scythe series by Neal Shusterman who is genderfluid. The character is a sailor, and they explain how when the light hits them in different ways, they change genders. Personally, it was one of the coolest, most powerful yet subtle ways of introducing a queer character. And it wasn't like this character was discussed once and never heard of again. No, like, this person is decently prominent in the book, and you see the other characters actively change pronouns and gendered terms. It was super cool, I loved it.

1968

I'm not sure if anyone's mentioned this already, but I'm wanting Will Byers from Stranger Things to be aro.

Tent 

1965

7 minutes ago, Queasy_Attention said:

Oh man, this has been bugging me for AGES. I've had a really hard time figuring out where I lie on the gender spectrum, mainly because a lot of people in queer internet spaces put so much stock into personal pronouns- specifically, on the hardships they face when they are not used correctly. But pronouns have never been that big of a concern for me! I'm totally fine with the fact that everyone in my life uses she/her to refer to me, since I'm afab. If they wanted to use he/him or they/them I would also be happy, but I don't need them to do that in order to feel comfortable.

I also can't relate to the gender dysphoria that many, many genderqueer people go through. I've never really minded my own body. Again, it's a case of- well, if I had he/him parts, I'd also be happy, but I don't need them in order to feel like myself. 

At the same time, I can tell I'm not "just" female. Consistently since childhood I've felt a pull towards masculine presentation. I've resisted dressing in traditionally feminine clothing and preferred masculine or androgynous clothes instead, particularly for formal or important occasions. I refer to myself as a guy sometimes, and it feels natural. Sometimes I imagine my body as if I were a different sex- sometimes I wish it were. I also am comfortable presenting in a feminine way sometimes. And sometimes I like both. 

So I think I'm bigender-- or bigenderflux, if I wanted to get really specific about it. I like this label over "genderfluid" because it implies that two gender identities can exist at the same time, even if the proportions of which is more present tend to shift around. (Basically, I have some days where I feel more feminine and some days when I feel more masculine, but I don't constantly have "boy days" or "girl days" where I know for sure that I am one or the other, and being referred to as the opposite would upset me.)

It's kind of tough. I've struggled to relate to (and honestly empathize with) a lot of my friends who are genderqueer, because I have never understood what it feels like to be misgendered. Obviously I believe when they say that being misgendered causes them pain! At the same time, I don't have a problem with any pronouns, so I have a hard time putting myself in the shoes of others who do. 

I just feel like everyone I see has such a strong take on pronouns and dysphoria, and I haven't seen or met anyone else who feels more easygoing about it like me. It makes me doubt myself and whether I even am genderqueer, whether maybe I'm just a cis girl who just wishes she was a boy sometimes, maybe because of the way men are allowed to exist in society in ways that women aren't, or because dicks seem more fun than their female alternatives? Idk!! It's really hard to parse out all my feelings. 

I actually can... relate to a lot of what you're saying. I don't really care too much about pronouns, like, call me whatever you want, idc. I might prefer some over others depending on the day, but not enough to the point where I would be super uncomfortable. 

2 minutes ago, Confused Artist said:

Have you told anyone that you're genderflux yet? If so, how'd you do it? I might try to soon?

I actually told a friend of mine yesterday, as they were telling me about their struggles with their gender, and so I told them I was genderflux in an attempt to help them see if that might be a possibility for them as well. I basically just explained my discovery journey and how I finally arrived at this conclusion, but it was a little different because they also had some awareness they were genderqueer, so it wasn't like I was coming out to one of my cis family members/friends who might not understand the concept of a fluctuating gender identity and stuff like that.