I relate to this a lot!
Already when I was 11 or 12 y/o I was completely tired of all expectations, and I hated being romanticized and sexualized. Somehow I'd heard of the word asexual (I didn't know the difference between sexual and romantic orientation yet) and wanted to come out as such, but even though I strongly related to the word I thought I faked it. I even convinced myself that I wanted to find a girl, marry and get children. When I realized that I wasn't heterosexual, and started question whether I was bisexual or not, the pressure got even more intense. I was completely alienat