Kadence

I say ‘I love you’ to my partner and my friends, but that’s just me. If it makes you uncomfortable, then you don’t have to do it! There are other ways to express love other than verbally

  Something I realized some time after figuring out I was aromantic and started to analyze the kind of relationships I wanted instead of the kind society taught me to want, it was not a hard conclusion to come to that I was polyamorous.

  It’s a strange combination if you don’t know about QPRs, and it’s one of those things where I wonder if I’ll ever get more than one QPP at a time. I have a wonderful partner right now and we’ve both expressed a desire to have other partners and/or a polycule, but we’ve yet to find anyone.

  I don’t see it talked about too much (I could always juts be looking in the wrong places) but I wanted to hear about the experience of other polyam aros (a little bit cause I’m curious, a little bit to reassure myself that more than two exist).

On 11/15/2016 at 1:28 AM, UncommonNonsense said:

Here's a question, folks. 

 

Let's say you have a best friend who you do not/cannot date (for whatever reason - maybe they're not attracted to people of your gender).  You want the best for this person because you care about them an awful lot. 

You're aro.  You accept yourself and your identity, and you're not overly conflicted about being aro. 

 

Your best friend meets another aro person and is interested in this person.  You don't know the person your friend is pursuing. 

 

Would you advise your friend that they should date an aromantic person, knowing that your friend is romantically-oriented?  Or would you tell your friend to give up on this particular relationship?  Would the gender and orientation of your friend make a difference?  Would it make a difference to you if the aromantic person your friend likes is asexual or allosexual?

 

 

  This would depend on two things. One- the aro person’s willingness to be in a QPR or something similar and two- how quickly my alloromantic friend falls in love. See, if it was my best friend, who has a tendency to develop crushes really quickly, I would discourage her from pursuing a relationship with them but if it was one of my friends who don’t fall in love as quickly then I would tell them to talk to the aro person and see if they’re open to some kind of relationship. In the end, that would also be my advice to someone like my best friend, but I’d also be like ‘it’s prolly not a good idea’ as well.

  This is a question for all you aros who have been in intimate relationships or have been intimate with another person.

  Do you remember your first kiss?

  I was in one real relationship and it lasted two and a half years. During that time, I know I kissed the girl I was with hundreds of times but I can’t remember my first one. I remember pretty much every other first in that relationship except for that one. I wanted to know if that was an aro thing or me/that relationship thing. 

I always find it incredibly interesting that most aro people who take these polls are female and the second most is non-binary. The non-binary one makes sense, we've done a lot of research on LGBT+ orientations and are more likely to have chanced on the word and explored it more open-mindedly but female... I guess guys are typically more 'queer-shamed' than girls so maybe guys are less likely to take pride in their aromantisim or maybe even discover it. I don't know, this is just speculation, but I am very curious and fascinated by this kind of stuff.

  I'm an athiest and I actually think that it helped me to discover and accept my aromanticism better, though it didn't have a direct impact. For one, when I became an atheist, I had to completely rethink how I thought of the world down to the fundamental parts of my mortality.  Having already done that once, when I discovered I was aromantic, I had to rethink everything I thought I would have in the future. I had to rethink my values when it came to relationships of every kind. It was a lot easier doing that after already having to have done it once.

  I totally understand the math bit. I super passionate about writing fiction and fantasy and I do joke to myself about writing being the closest to being in love I've ever gotten lol. I also slip into weird, semi-poetic rants and I'm told I talk like I'm writing a book, so I understand that haha

  Welcome to Aropocalypse, it sounds like you've contributed a lot to the aro-spec community already lol you're definitely more of an activist than I am

What’s your ideal “date” with your non-romantic partner?

Mine is cuddling on the couch watching Monty Python movies and discussing life

So, I was just reading The Adventure Time Encyclopedia and Hunson Abadeer called love an abomination and now my new headcannon is that he's aro

Sex

Drown

 I'd rather have a bunch of snek friend than get married

Bar fight

no one's posted here for a while

1921

Banned for having the name of the worst villain's in one of the stories I write

3

This is entirely up to you and the label you feel most comfortable with, if you identify with the term straight, use that, if you identify with the term bisexual, use that

1. I went through two periods of questioning and four label changes. First, I thought I was pansexual then I settled on bisexual, just cause the label felt more comfortable and I identified as that for a while until I realized I wasn't attracted to men. After that, I called myself a lesbian until recently, when I basically came out to myself as non-binary and I've just been calling myself gay.

2. I was rather comfortable with my sexual orientation (even if I hadn't fully switched to the label I'm using now) when I found out I was aromantic. Now that I think about it, it was my sexual orientation that led me to discover my romantic one. I have dated guys in the past, guys that I didn't really love or even like, and when I realized I wasn't attracted to men at all, I realized that I'd faked that love. Then I thought about it more and I realized that, even though I was sexual with the girl I dated in the past, I had done the same thing with her as I did to all the guys I've dated. That led me to the discover I was aromantic.

3. I consider my sexual and romantic orientation separate because they are two separate parts of me.  There's the part of me that wants to have sex with woman and another part of me that doesn't want a relationship or even feel romantically attracted to anyone. They coexist but they are still distinct.

1 hour ago, Blake said:

No to both. I consider marriage a social construct, one that is kinda binding and suffocating for me. I can live with someone and be happy together without having to marry that person. Kinda roommates situation. I see kids and is hella cool...but away from me. I consider myself the rich single uncle if I would be ever in that situation, never will I ever have biological children. The only exception to the rule is if I served as a foster home, but not a permanent one, just till they can rise their wings and fly on their own. Living alone is great for me, since i try to be as independent as possible.

Marriage is definitely a social construct lol no one can argue that, it’s is literally something created by people for social purposes (well, it was created to sell woman for livestock or political power but it turned into something for social purposes as we came to realize that woman aren’t something to be sold)

1 minute ago, Blake said:

They are! ball pythons are very docile, and you can play lots with them. Sadly, like yourself I don't have one currently because of my schedule. Before this pandemic happened I was at home only to sleep and cook. And I believe that a pet deserves time and dedication, which I could not give. 

I agree, a pet deserves to be loved and given all the time, attention and dedication they deserve. When I move out, I will make sure that I will be able to give it what it needs and if I can’t then I won’t get one cause they deserve better

Just now, Blake said:

Kingsnakes are indeed royal. But like reticulated pythons, and all other aggressive snakes, they should be treated with respect and lot and lots of patience. The coloration i so damn beautiful :3

I agree 100% I live with my parents rn and they won’t let me have a snek but when I do, I wanna get a ball python at first cause I hear they’re good starter snakes

7 hours ago, Blake said:

Hello comment ça va Kandance! (my french is rusty so sorry if mispelled something) I go by Blake here cuz of RWBY fandom. i like snakes too, boa constrictor, racers, and reticulated pythons ^^. Hope that here you can find your specifics, and that you feel comfy. 

Ça va bien! You spelled everything fine lol Thanks, my dream snake is a kingsnake cause they’re beautiful and royal

For Me -Dearlie is my comfort aro song

I personally like I Don't Need Love  by NIIC, Heart Heavy & Alone and Sublime by Mother Mother and I'm Good by The Mowlgi's is a really awesome feel-good aro song

On 12/3/2017 at 4:32 AM, ladyasym said:

I'm really surprised no one has mentioned Ouran High School Host Club yet! Really funny, fluffy anime. Even though the premise of the show is all about romance, there's actually a couple of characters that I am 100% headcanoning as Aro (perhaps not coincidentally, they're my favourite characters). 

Haruhi Fujioka (though apparently in the manga she eventually ends up with one of the main characters but I like to think that it's a QPP based primarily on friendship), because she is just genuinely not romantic, and really into the friendships she has with the other characters. Maybe she's even Aro-ace? 

Kyoya Otori - extremely practical, calculating, not romantic (or even romantically inclined, outside of a very technical way), and very possibly Aro-ace. Devoted to friends yet very self-serving, idk - I think he's the coolest, lol. 

 

Also Death Note - Light Yagami and L, I think are Aro-ace or at least Aro, because neither of them are interested in romance (and Light uses people who are romantically interested in him to further his own ends). I mean, IMHO they're both pretty sociopathic so maybe not the best representation for aromantics? 

 

Jughead Jones - from the original comics (don't even get me started on how they desecrated his character on Riverdale...) Aro-ace for sure. 

 

Minerva McGonagall - I can totally see her as Aro, but apparently she has a canon tragic romantic backstory (?), so maybe Aro-spec?

 

And a few that have already been mentioned... 

Merida - Brave

Rey - Force Awakens

Voldemort - but again, very much full of hate and sociopathic tendencies...

Huruhi be the best gender-queer aro in all of anime yesss

On 4/6/2016 at 7:52 PM, Sindonyx said:

there is some amedot in here so

 

hey look, it's me, throwing my opinions into the ring that nobody particularly asked for but look I headcanon Peridot from Steven universe as quiromantic, wtfromantic, unable to determine platonic from romantic.

she doesn't seem to be able to tell that amethyst seems to be hitting on her a bit, and doesn't seem to know what to do if she did in fact realize that, and she gets kind of flustered around amethyst, and stuff

THIS IS NOT WELL PUT TOGETHER I GET THAT I TRIED THO IM NOT GOOD AT THIS

Canonically, Lapis and Peridot are in a QPR soooo