Tarantulapaws

I'm going to preface this by saying I'm overwhelmed. Not just by the thread but by real life circumstances. So I'm really sorry if I come off as incoherent. 

But on the topic of tag policing... Can we please cut it out with the narrative that people asking for tags to be kept on topic is 'policing' in the same way that telling someone they aren't x is policing?

I'm too tired to bring up specific posts and I don't really want to make it the bloggers problem but... The problem isn't even that ace or aspec alone in a post in non aro inclusive, it's that for a community with a history of getting covered up or equated to another, I wish people would be more careful about how they handle that. There would be no problem if most people didn't equate aromanticism to asexuality. But I can confirm that anyone I've ever met and came out to had assumed I was ace- and or asserted I was ace after I corrected them. Tag policing isn't about trying to put down aroaces for feeling a connection with their asexuality but pointing out that something is perpetuating a common myth. This is not a case where we're trying to antagonize aces at all. 

I'm sorry if this is a little off topic but I couldn't help but see someone bring it up. Especially because I'd seen this passed around by ace blogs I follow and I wanted to try clearing that up. It's not because we hate aroaces or anything like that. 

Edit: I understand that we share a history and community. Hell, as far as many people are concerned aromantic may as well mean the same thing as ace. What I'm getting at is that this is making it difficult for aros to try making aro specific spaces for the aros that do see a distinction. And saying this very concept alienates aroaces is unhelpful.

Further edit: the person I vaguely mention isn't even at fault in any way. No one really is. It's just the issue of the matter is the misconceptions commonly spread, which is why people do point out when posts that come off as off topic posts are in the aro tags. I could explain further but this is already getting long enough for someone who can't stop making typos. 

9 minutes ago, Coyote said:

 

Standard-bearer. Sidekick. Confidant. Associate. Accomplice.

I am using all of these and he will know no end. 

2 hours ago, Coyote said:

 

Yes, but don't let that dissuade you.

Please someone stop me I am spiralling out of control. 

8 minutes ago, bydontost said:

comrade or paramour

I change my mind. This is the only response that matters.

31 minutes ago, Guest AroAceBlob said:

Okay. (It’s a long one)

So I’m 19 and have never dated or been interested in doing so my entire life. I honestly consider is a waste of time tbh. Romance in movies is just too fast, confusing/annoying and movies are much better without it. I can appreciate a healthy loving relationship and think it’s cute, but I don’t want it for myself. But anyway, my freshman year of college I met this guy, let’s call him E. I didn’t know anyone at this new college so I was pretty stressed. E was the type of guy who was funny yet intense and I would always squirm internally when he looked at me. I really appreciated his intellect and musical talent. But I’m super anxious around guys in general, so I would consider the butterflies to be my anxiety. All the other girls were OBSESSED with him bc he SANG and played guitar. They wanted to date him and went on and on about how hot he was ect. I’ve always only liked guys’ personalities and if they had an ugly personality I would not be remotely interested. I can see aesthetically why people are attractive. He was just so much more well known and popular, and I just got really nervous when I saw him. I really wanted to get to know him and be close friends (a bit of sensual attraction as well which was hella confusing for me) I was just so happy when I saw him. Since learning about sensual attraction it’s really helped explain it, plus getting on meds for my anxiety ??. But back then the feelings were really intense, but I don’t think I would classify them as romantic. I didn’t think about him when he wasn’t there, I would only get socially anxious and embarrassed if i saw him. I would want to hang out and I think I kinda confused it with a crush, it might have been an intense squish...? Plus, I could consciously choose to not “like” him and was never jealous if he talked to anyone else. He was flaky and a major flirt so that DID annoy me but ??‍♀️ Idk...opinions?? [just recently accepted I’m Ace and been considering I’m Aro or at least grey romantic] thanks for reading ?

I had a few squishes like that, initially starting out as intense until I became their friend and I could ignore the feelings if I wanted. What you're describing sounds like a squish. In my experience at least.

13 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Fellow jaeger pilot

your reply is the only one that will ever matter.

Edit: in all seriousness someone give me a suggestion before my high on caffeine ass goes and coins a term.

I'm going preface this by saying that I do not have the energy to explain to someone what I mean by qpp, and that if I am interested in having something similar, I need a new word. One I thought could work was the term 'friends with benefits' but that doesn't cover half of what a qpp covers- and not just in implying that someone is 'more than a friend' but in how limiting it is. It implies that we aren't friends at all at the least and at worst it implies a toxic relationship and on top of that it's not a term I'd use to describe a partner to someone. 'Partner' also poses an issue for obvious reasons, even if it is technically true as well. The assumption would be that I mean romantic partner.

Would it be corny to call my 'qpp' my partner in crime?

What I'm really asking for is if aros have any terms that equate to qpp that we made. Something I can use to describe my relationship without stepping on anyone's toes. I ask because the only other term I could use completely sucks and doesn't cover my level of commitment. And qpp doesn't cover how it can potentially be unplatonic.

Edit: aha, I misread something in the qpp thread whoops. I'd still like a word that doesn't have platonic in it but turns out qpp is not illegal for me to use.

Hi! I'm also looking for friends. I actually read a reply of yours to something I posted now that I think about it...

It'd be cool if you wanted to message me anytime. I am also unoccupied myself and can usually be found online.

44 minutes ago, Adriano said:

I love music! I love Michael Jackson's songs, singing a dancing to it. I had a few performances about it Otherwise I had a few performances singing and dancing(always in the same time) to other songs. I play a piano too. I try making music, on my YouTube channel there are a few projects(some short melodies) and 2 covers but my voice from more more than 1 year ago doesn't sound good in them ? I'm fascinated by conducting in symphony orchestra and want to do it one day, but I even haven't started

I think that's all

Woa that's cool. Tying to get into music myself but my family keeps having to pawn my guitar and all I have to play at the moment is a cheap keyboard. Pianos are awesome. My sibling used to have one but they never learned how to play it. I was soooo jealous. I also used to play violin.

Been considering doing covers, or at least learning how to sing as I'd like to maybe do voice acting someday- and also because as a trans person it's also been a dream of mine to do a pre hrt and post hrt duet. 

You have a youtube? Would you mind sharing? I'm just curious. 

On 11/16/2018 at 4:44 AM, the-probable-aro said:

Cool thread! 

 

I think I only really find people attractive when I'm already horny. I never get distracted because someone's attractive, but I will find certain people more attractive if I'm actively looking for a sexual partner? 

 

Of course this is also tied up with the fact that I'm pretty sure I have some level of prosopagnosia (faceblindness) , and I have to have known someone for a while before their face sticks in my mind well enough that I'm even able to find them attractive. And if by this point I've discovered I don't like them as a person, I'm not going to find them attractive. 

 

So I only find people attractive when I'm horny, I've known them for a while, and we're reasonably friendly and get along and even then I don't find most people attractive, or find anyone distractingly attractive. 

I... actually experience real similar. Down to the good possibility of faceblindness and even losing interest in people you don't have respect for. I'm honestly a little shocked and it's making me wonder if my neurodivergencies are somehow working with my sexual orientation. In any case, it's just really cool to read that someone experiences similar.

I've been curious about how other aros had a tendency to feel myself. For me personally it's a bit of a toss up. To put it simply, upon inspection now, I don't define my sexual attraction as something I need other people around to feel- (Edit again: what I mean here is that I am in a mood for no reason in particular and certaintly not because of a person) and while I don't define myself as ace anymore, it's a little different apparently. Or at least, from what I'm reading from other people here. That's not to say I'm not attracted to other people, though. Just that I'm less interested.  Maybe it's just the lack of romantic component in my attractions, or something else. I don't know. There is also the aesthetic factor in it, because I can find people attractive and prefer to appearance of one person over someone else.

Over all, as much as we can split up attractions, I have a hard time doing that myself... Even when there is no strictly "romantic" attraction.

Edit: Aaaaand I never answered your questions!!! Uh as far as brain processes go, it's a goal set beside me finding something aesthetically pleasing about another person. Example being that I find vampires pretty neat because I think fangs are cool. I'm coincidentally also really attracted to characters like that in the media I watch. From there it's a downhill spiral.

Uhhh so here's my slight conundrum- even if this will hopefully happens years and years down the line, I recently realized I would like to be a parent someday! And were I not aromantic or trans I'm sure there would be no issues. The problem is that I am in fact both of these things. And on top of that, I'm sure single parenting would not be my thing.

Having grown up, I had experienced some parental neglect. Given the chance, I would like to ensure any child I raised to adulthood (not necessarily from infancy as I hope to adopt) is not left without adults to go to. I'm not sure how one goes about looking for someone to parent with them with none of the romantic strings attached, and I was wondering if anyone had thoughts? I can't really go to dating sites as they're primarily for these kinds of relationships, and while the thought of trying on forums such as this did cross my mind.... I don't do too great with long distance relationships, friendships or otherwise. Anyone think it might be realistic enough that I meet another allo aro who might want a similar family arrangement? The only other I met does not like kids at all.

1 hour ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

I'm actually a little bit new to both sewing and costume design, since I only really started actively trying to do them within the past few years. In general, though, I mostly do lolita fashion and cosplay; My most accomplished cosplays would probably be Pharaoh Atem (2019) and Fujiwara no Sai (2018), although the latter I would really like to remake with something a bit more period + nice looking than shitty plain cotton... I tried to remake the kariginu last year using some sort of? Satin... something-or-other?? But I never figured out how to sew it properly

 

My current projects are deck bags for all my TCG friends, embellishing an old vest to give it a more Babymetal look, and then I'm going to hopefully attempt to make my first corset. If all goes well I'm going to be a scarab fairy as my renfaire costume this year (partly because it's an excuse to recycle some of the jewelry from my Atem cosplay, because STONKS), assuming the plague has died down enough by June to actually have a renfaire at all...

Those cosplays are freaking awesome!! (I noticed the aro pin, too!) All of those things sound cool, I'm especially interested in how that vest might turn out. And speaking of that plague, my own costume for a local con had actually been planned to be a plague doctor before things happened. Otherwise my own projects are a lot less cool. Kinda tried and failed to turn an old prom dress into a long skirt for optimal nonbinary fashion, but it kinda fell apart...

I hope that renfaire happens for you!!!

--

To bring up another topic, I was wondering... Anyone know if Miles Sumney is aromantic? I heard he was, and fact checked to find out that he did indeed say he was... I posted about it some time ago and someone told me he was not. Does anyone maybe know more about this?

Also. to start a bit of a discussion about aromantic musicians, can I say how much I LOVE cavetown??? Like shut up??? We get a cool artist like that dropping songs I can relate to so deeply??? Who said a single artist could even do that????

Edit: ....I officially do not understand how arocalypse works..it just added to my response to you...

4 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

I do writing, art, and sewing/costume design!

Aaaa that is so cool!!! I've always wanted to do costumes myself but sadly my budget has always been tight, especially lately. What kind of costumes do you make, and also what do you sew in general? 

Merida from brave, I just saw her on screen as a kid when my gramma took me and I loved her almost instantly. I related to this girl. I love her as an aro icon. 

Other headcanons include Xaldin from Kingdom Hearts, as well as Kirk (as in star trek don't @ me). 

Wanted to start a thread if there isn't already one goin'. Currently I have the attention span of a flee so if I missed a thread I'm so sorry. This is mostly about aromantic artists (writing, drawing, music and other methods of creation are all art) as well as aromantic art and the experiences of aromantic artists. 

I just really wanted to say that as a huge shipper I was surprised that my own writing doesn't organically focus on shipping at all. I can write and create romantic content, but it's just not the first place I go in making anything... Despite how many years I'd spent involved in shipping culture. It's a little funny to me. In hindsight this should have been a hint when I was a kid that I was aro. 

On 3/10/2020 at 12:03 PM, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Hello! Always good to meet other allo aros. What class do you main?

Woa I uhhh dunno how to reply properly on mobile at all lol, I didn't get any of these notifs previously!! I usually main paladins or mages...! In less professional games I main rogues or bard-like rogues. 

On 3/10/2020 at 12:29 PM, Raphael said:

Hey Korbin! I love your name! And yay for bi aro enbies!!! What do you (mainly) like to write?

I usually like to wrote found family stories. I also love themes of horror and suspense which can be quite the things to try smushing together. I love writing Sci-Fi as well and am currently writing a bit of a western fantasy with a lot of adoptive and found family themes. 

Edit: btw, tysm!!!! It took me actual years to settle on this name and I'm glad others like it!! Also bi aro enbies... I love that we're more common than I thought.

On 3/10/2020 at 11:21 AM, Blake said:

Hello there Korbin, my alias is Blake cuz i like RWBY. Glad you found this forum. I like to write poems from now and then. And i play dnd too but my current session is on hold until May so I can finish university first. Also yeah being on every minute of our life here would mean we can't enjoy being aro so go and live life (while visiting here from now and then ^^). 

Ugh I feel that. My sessions are also on hold, especially given the whole coronavirus deal going on too. I'm thinking I'll DM a game at home between my family. Maybe I can get my grandmother to participate if I ask nicely...

Anyways, it's so nice to meet you, Blake!! I've heard of rbwy though I've never watched it, think it's worth checking out? 

"So are aromantics sl*ts, then?" My mom upon being explained what an aro is after she asked. 

Hello there. My name is Korbin and it feels good to say that. I'm 19, trans (pronouns he/they), as well as aromantic and bi. I have a bunch of hobbies though they mostly center around drawing and writing. I actually hope to be an author someday, and I'm starting on a book now! Other interests of mine are science and dnd. I'm open for messages anytime, though it's not guaranteed I'll be on to see them.

I did the same thing- join just as its ending. at least we get to enjoy the site for a little. and hopefully it only has to change hands.

I find just between an aro friend and I that even when we participate in romantic culture we are a little removed from some aspects of it and/or likely to point out toxic aspects of amanormaitvity and how its hurting our romantic friends. Also people have gone to me for romantic advice which made absolutely little sense to me but apparently its a common enough occurrence forthe very few aros I've met. So I guess what I'm saying is aro culture seems to be (in my limited experience because there is simply not enough aro anything where I live and I only know two arospec people in my actual life) that we tend to play relationship counselor. And that alloro people (when they find anything about us positive) think we're smart for avoiding romance, if sad or even just confusing. 

Edit: I don't know but its almost like they take any kinda neutral attitude as some kind of personal wisdom which is a bit to unravel, I need to be getting to sleep.

also, flowers

as well as various lovecore things surprisingly enough, I like it myself