Elluna Hellen

I just found this gem on a very old forum I used to be active on

another member: I want a boyfriend

14 year old me: I don't
Yet another member: I want a boyfriend too
14 year old me: WHY?

19 hours ago, techno-trashcan said:

I remember like, never really having a crush on anybody?? And I didn't think that was weird until some stuff happened that kind of sparked my aro discovery...

I've always liked to write, but I've never been good at writing romance, the few times I tried it. It was always just like, they were really close friends, and sometimes they kissed. And it was never the main focus of what I was writing, it was just kind of what you were supposed to do??

Elementary and middle school was a weird time. Like, I think there was ONE time I thought I had a "crush" on some kid (I was like 5 years old) but I really just thought he was nice and wanted a friend lmao

I didn't understand crushes for the longest time... it was weird.

I never understood them either, but I didn't think much of it because I was still really young to fall in love, right? (in my teens) or 'It could still happen, right?' (in my early 20s)

Only occasionally *and* never enough to really be affected.

On 12-6-2016 at 0:04 AM, Chronos said:

 

 

 

You people, at what age more or less you just said "f*** it" and stopped waiting for "the right one"?

23. Before that I thought for a long time that I was a late bloomer, and then spent a year or so going "I *might* be aro buuuuut who knows" and then got sick of that and literally went 'f*ck it, I'm just gonna call it what it is now.'

This is not to say that I ever bothered TRYING to find the "right one". I have never dated. I have never even considered it. I have, to be completely honest, never even HOPED to fall in love or anything like that. So when you look at it like that, I never *did* wait for "the right one". My form of "waiting" was literally just me not wanting to be wrong about being aro. That was all.

So depending on how you see it the answer is either '23' or 'waiting for the right one? Why would I wanna do that'

On 4-4-2016 at 6:15 AM, Starry Sky said:

(Gender coming out story) My favorite one because it was so casual and unplanned so it took stress away because I wasn't thinking about it -

 

Me: I like your face shape.

Brother: Thanks, I like your hair shape.

Me: Thank you.

Brother: (jokingly) I like how your gender is within the gender binary.

Me: It's not, it's outside of the gender binary within the agender... category.

Brother: *does his cute fake surprised face while gasping then continues with life as normal*

Ha, your brother sounds great

I once kind of accidentally/unplanned came out to my mum.

me: Sooo I don't think I'll really ever fall in love

My mum: Eh, you'll just fall for the right person!

me: Yeah but... I don't know I've never even had a tiny crush

Mum: Maybe you're just afraid of it, like you're scared of change and you're just repressing the feelings?

Me: But... Then I'd still feel it.

Mum: I guess. Well as long as you end up happy it's all good right?

Pretty okay response if you ask me!

Eww, that's major irritating. I probably would've gone 'NO' as well and then if they tried to grab my hand and get me back... There'd probably be cursing. I am... not subtle. 

On 14-5-2016 at 10:55 AM, Dodgypotato said:

 

 

Although I think I either give off an aromantic vibe or am really unattractive, because I've never been asked out before.

Same!

1 hour ago, Nowhere.girl said:

I think that one of the worst aspects of being aro is when you get asked out or someone flirts with you. If you just say "no" as your excuse, they keep trying because that "no" is obviously a "yes" somehow in their head. If you are comfortable coming out to them (even if you don't know them that well) and say that you are aro, they are not going to take you seriously. Maybe it's also because they ignore you and keep trying for whatever reason, but sometimes it's because people are not aware that aromanticism is a thing just because they are romantics and don't believe that there are people who are not. I think this is one of the rudest things you can do, not taking seriously someone's identity just because it's not the same as yours and therefore that person is confused or lying or crazy.

 

I don't know this is a random thought and it's so obvious but I wanted to share it anyway.

tbh if someone did the repeated trying thing to me (especially even after I've clearly stated 'not interested, never will be') I'd probably just verbally explode in their face at some point.

"HOW 'BOUT I'M NOT FRIGGIN' INTERESTED AND I'VE TOLD YOU THIS 3 MILLION TIMES NOW STOP FRIGGIN' ASKING!" Because seriously. When did we ever learn that sometimes, no means no? And not 'no but maybe later' Maybe that'd scare them off. Or I'd be labeled a b*tch. Probably the latter

I literally never get asked out though. I.. do not mind this

5 hours ago, Zemaddog said:

Am I the only one who just really didn't like the word love when I was younger? The word just didn't sit right with me, and I don't think I actually ever said it until I was at least a teenager. Even then, I was hesitant about using it. Maybe it was due to  society associating the word to romance, or the fact that I don't feel like I have ever experienced it (except for maybe my pets). Am I alone in this thinking or are the others who felt the same way?

Come to think of it, I never really tell people 'love you' (I do with my pets though. Go figure). Though it's not because i don't like the word.

Also this.

When I was 12 I was a fan of a singer. Cue some random aunts/family members. "OH, do you have a little crush on him? " And I just remember being like "will they just shut up I like the music that's all >_>"

On 12-4-2016 at 0:16 AM, breaddd said:

It annoys me to no end when people assume that you can't think for yourself because you're not older than 20.

Yes hello random young aro-haters. Aromantic over the age of 20 here. We exist. (25. Wonder if I'm still too young to know? ) And yes, I definitely noticed the lack of crushes/romantic feelings when I was under 20, and maybe if i'd known aromanticism is a thing I'd have thought to identify as it then. (I doubt it though. I was scared to be 'wrong' as it was, and that was when I was 23!) Teenagers can definitely know, or at least question. They're not necessarily late bloomers just because they're young >_>

In fact, I admire the aromantic/asexual teens for being sure enough of themselves at that age to identify and come out. With this whole 'too young' argument, I assume it's not easy! :\

Also: "Maybe you're just scared to fall in love and repressing it!"

from 'straight by default and just young' to 'late bloomer? Still straight by default' to 'GAY MAYBE?'  to 'We'll see' to 'REALLY LATE BLOOMER?' to 'MAYBE ARO? Maybe REALLY late bloomer?' over the course of like 10 years, then to 'EFF THIS, YOU'RE 23. ARO. NOT LATE BLOOMER.' I just got sick of the 'possibly aro/ace but maybe not because it could still happen right?!??!?' it was not even a hopeful 'it could still happen either' just a 'Look I don't wanna be wrong about being aro/ace' thing XD. So I got sick of the maybes two years ago

15 hours ago, Chronos said:

 

The biggest difference was how I didn't care about relationships during school. I barely remember in high school my classmates commenting something about going to parties to "catch"/"stay with" other people ("pegar", in Portuguese, and I still don't know exactly what this means).

Mostly I didn't care, or notice. I didn't think about me having any kind of relationship. If it happened someday, cool.

Only two years ago, when I stumbled on the concept of asexuality and aromanticism, I stopped to think about it. And realized these labels fit me.

Same! I wondered what having a crush would feel like, sure, and I expected it to happen at some point, but I can't remember ever *wanting* a relationship. I realised that this was different when I was maybe 12, and I thought I was just a late bloomer. I thought that for a really long time, though I was also aware that I'd be a REALLY late bloomer so I felt weird about it kind of. Never BAD, just... Off. (and I thought I was gay for a while and had a crush on my friend. I didn't. Shoutout to that one sort-of-friend I had at the time for confusing me!). Then I realised I'm aromantic and asexual and well, not a 23 (now 25) year old late bloomer  

I'm a bad aro because

-I don't really mind romance. Romantic stories *can* be cute. Most of the time I'm just indifferent, though.

-I never faked crushes.

-I don't experience squishes?

-I also don't mind love songs.

On 8-4-2016 at 3:35 PM, Cassiopeia said:

Also allo people who seem to know my feelings better than I do.

 

The time a friend insisted I must have a crush on a friend of mine. Apparently she could tell by 'the way I was looking at her'. All this because that same friend asked me if I'd ever wondered what it'd be like to have a girlfriend, and specifically that one friend. So I imagined it for a bit but couldn't and I was like 'I mean, I guess I've thought about it' and it literally spun into her assuming I must have a crush on her. Got 19 year old, still unaware of aro/ace me VERY confused for a while. It literally turned into me having a couple of romantic dreams about me and that friend, probably because the thought was occupying my mind so much (me being really confused and all that xD). Good thing i'm not exactly romance repulsed? I was so annoyed by it though. I was like 'YO BRAIN CAN YOU NOT THIS WHOLE FIGURING THIS OUT THING IS ANNOYING ENOUGH DURING DAYTIME' (come to think of it, just the fact that I woke up going 'ugh, not again' rather than 'OMG IT WAS JUST A DREAM ' should PROBABLY have been a giveaway. xD) 

ALSO:

Every single time when I was going out as a teenager.

My mum: *jokingly* no boys!

And I was just always like 'yea no worries lol'