shotinthehand

I can't tell if I'm romance-repulsed or repulsed by the physical actions that the people in the romantic relationships are doing/are romance-coded. I'm generally fine with couples being reasonably affectionate like with handholding and sitting particularly close to each other but I think just about everyone gets uncomfortable if two people start making out in front of them. I'm OK with romantic subplots in books , shows, and movies so long as it doesn't become overdone or given too much importance, but maybe I just hate romantic plot tumors more than most people because I don't find romance for the sake of romance to be cute. I do understand that the majority of people are romantic and it would be unrealistic for them to not have a romantic life. I ship two ships in all of the shows I watch. Sometimes when I look up shippy fan-art I think aww, that's so cute and I've actually read and enjoyed a long piece of slash over the course of...hmm...I think it was about a week...and other times my stomach starts to feel weird and I have to go do something else. Maybe the shippy stuff just has to be really done and extremely lightweight fluff for me to like it. I don't like smut at all and the thought of reading/looking at any squicks me out and is a huge NOPE, but with fluff it's way more complicated for me. Sometimes, I think sheer quantity of romantic stuff can overwhelm me and amped up levels of sensuality that I'm uncomfortable with. When people crush on me I am definitely repulsed. I completely hate it and feel angry and unfortunately I tend to direct that anger at the person crushing on me. If I find out later that someone had a crush on me, I just try to never think about it.

On 4/9/2016 at 11:52 AM, Tal Shi'ar said:

I'm not entirely sure if I have some repulsion towards romance itself, or other peoples attitude and emphasis towards romance being important. Seeing romantic scenes in tv shows and movies bores the crap out of me. People insinuating that romance would be a good thing for me because they themselves are romantic shits me off.

That being said, I have had "crushes" before, but even then, I never felt inclined to actually pursue anything. Romance and relationships don't really mean anything to me. There's been plenty of times lately where I've even questioned if those crushes were completely romantic, or just semi romantic. Sure, I was feeling something directed at a particular person, but sometimes, I'm not sure what I was feeling towards them, although that's usually when I'm not crushing and I'm trying to reflect back on them.

YES YOUR FIRST SENTENCE YES. Also, I've had two...somethings...form of compression...directed at two people but I'm not really sure what they were either.

I think by definiton, dating an aromantic person doesn't work. Dating is romantic, and you're romantic friend wants a relationship from their crush that their crush can't give them. The gender of your friend and the genders your friend is romantically attracted are irrelevant and so is the sexual orientation of the aromantic crush. None of that plays a factor in the reality that an aromantic person can't give someone who is crushing on them the relationship they want (unless it's a lithromantic person who's crushing but I don't think that's the situation). Sorry that this post is a little curt; I need to go to bed because it's late in Germany and I have school tomorrow. 

4 minutes ago, Louis Hypo said:

So I saw a bunch of videos about how (some certain particular individual) women really dislike compliments (not even passive aggressive snyde remarks but stuff like you've lost weight or you're wearing a nice dress) and I'm glad the strive for romance won't be a reason for getting into that sticky situation. A lot of it has to do with trouble in the past and people being unaware of that when complimenting and I don't see how one avoids that. So yeah people scare me.

Yeah...social situations can be flummoxing. I get why "you've lost weight" can be uncomfortable-- if it's a compliment, that implies that she was fat before. I mean, I've been the recipient of that one from my grandma and I was pretty awkward. Yeah, I knew I was overweight before, grams, thanks for pointing it out

On 6/3/2016 at 4:10 AM, aussiekirkland said:

I remember when we watched the Romeo + Juliet movie for English class and I was trying to figure out why everyone loved it because from a media standpoint it was cheesy and stupid as hell but from what I could gather

1) "it's so romantic"

2) "Leonardo DiCaprio is sooo hot"

I had to do the same thing for English class, excepted everyone else thought the movie was terrible as well and my two friends who know how aro I am were probably enjoying watching me lose it in my chair.

an appropriate face to make when romantic drama is introduced

Yay, aros who are INTJs! I want more!

Just now, iridescent-apatosaurus said:

Some of these might have been already said, but I don't care.

 

Ling Yao from fmab, Luna Lovegood, Katniss Everdeen, Yukine from Noragami, Legolas, Rey.

Also Cinderella is frayromantic and nobody can tell me otherwise.

Why do you headcanon Luna as aromantic? 

Didn't Katniss experience romantic attraction towards Peeta and Gale?

There isn't a part of the story that would directly clash with Cinderella being frayromantic.

Just now, Rising Sun said:

I just watched a documentary about animal reproduction. One part was about stag beetles, and it was filmed to look really funny. One male stag beetle wanted to reach a female, who lived among the highest branches of a huge tree. For this, he had to fight many other males, which he violently threw one after another to the ground, for a fall dozens of feet deep. After his victory, he ran after the female, who wasn't really willing at first... And once he eventually got what he wanted, he treated the female exactly the same way as his rivals, he threw her without any pity.

I thought how much human relationships are often the same. We aren't very different from stag beetles in love, after all.  

Romance is weird.

On 6/30/2016 at 6:56 PM, morallygayro said:

No fam, I think she's trying to convince herself she's straight, out if self-hatred and compulsory heterosexuality. Because I did the same thing at her age. Also I once read a fic with agender Mabel and loved it, that's where I get it from.

Oh, do you want to post the fic?

6 hours ago, hangryeowyn said:

My romo ace friend and I were watching this miniseries called "Dramaworld" where a girl had to go into a tv show and make sure the main couple fell in love, and the Big Rule was that she wasn't supposed to fall in love with the Leading Man. When they say this rule in the show I comment that if it was me that wouldn't be a problem and she turns to me and goes

 

"Oh yeah right, you would totally fall for him"

 

And I'm thinking to myself 'Girl, you know I'm aro, why are you like this???' 

Wow, it's very weird that she did that. I'm sorry.

4 hours ago, RedNeko said:

...Are you trying to find the secret vampires of Arocalypse?

Because apparently, aromanticism doesn't exist, just like vampirism!

On 4/9/2016 at 0:36 PM, Spud said:

On the topic of phone numbers, I always get paranoid now when someone I just met who isn't clearly my friend asks for my phone number. I had some random person at a competition ask for it, and I was only okay with it because they asked everyone else in my group for theirs, too. Society has made me paranoid!

 

I feel like if someone was obviously flirting with me (hasn't happened yet), I would be totally oblivious and probably be excited because someone took the time to talk to me :3

One time this douchebag I know asked me for my number, and I felt uncomfortable but he wasn't doing anything sexual or romantic, and I thought I should give him a chance because we were both "working" (unpaid) at a summer camp as leaders-in-training, and I had been pretty harsh on him earlier. Later that day, he asked me out via text. It was very uncomfortable for me. 

53 minutes ago, morallygayro said:

Mabel from Gravity Falls is an aroace and nonbinary. She only wants relationships with boys in order to feel more "normal" and because she feels like she has to have them. She knows Dipper is a bisexual trans boy and he helped her figure out her feelings on gender.

I always felt that Mabel's crushes were genuine. She obsesses over them and performs ridiculous feats to try to win them over, beyond what is needed to convince people that she is straight. In her fantasy land, her dream-boys are there. I think if Mabel is non-binary, she doesn't mind going by feminine pronouns and showing feminine gender expression, because I think if she felt unhappy about it we would have seen that unhappiness somewhere. I understand where your headcanon for Dipper being a trans-boy comes from; he is very sensitive about his masculinity and goes to great lengths to prove that he is masculine. In that one episode where Mabel and Dipper swap bodies, I was wondering why they didn't immediately realize they were in bodies of the opposite sex...if they are both of the same sex then that is squared away.

53 minutes ago, morallygayro said:

Wendy is grayromantic, bi/pansexual, and gender nonconforming/butch trans girl. She doesn't really care about gender in her partners, only has romantic feelings for Robbie, and loses interest in relationships pretty quickly because she's just not feeling it.

 

Wendy has had lots of male romantic partners in the past, but we never hear her mention any non-masculine names when it comes to romantic partners. I can see her being grayromantic; she doesn't seem to care deeply about her past romantic relationships and she forgot to break up with one of her romantic partners for weeks. I always thought Wendy was cis-gender but didn't care about showing feminine gender expression.

I respect your headcanons though!

1 hour ago, morallygayro said:

You mean Merida?

Yes, thank you.

On 4/2/2016 at 4:44 PM, Spud said:

I think I either identify as gray-aromantic or aromantic.

 

If I called myself gray-aromantic because I'm not completely sure if I've had a crush, and if I did, it was literally one time. If I began to have enough to show a pattern of preferences or something, I would use either one of the other labels like lithro or the gender prefixes. Thinking over everything, I could be literally anything and I just haven't had enough experience yet. So that's why I'm gray-aro or aro. 

Oh my gosh, this is pretty much my experience! 

This is a page to discuss whether we ship people in real life and/or fiction, how often, why, etc. and how our (a)romantic orientations affect that.

I'm a Slytherin, and I would choose Erudite if I were thrown into the society of "Divergent."

I forgot Meredith from "Brave" in my first post. She could easily be headcanoned aro because she has no interest in getting married, but I prefer to think that she is straight and doesn't want to lose her independence to marriage, given her sex and the time period.

I headcanon Nicky from "Avenue Q" as on the aro-spec. We never see him or hear of him being in a romantic relationship, having previously been in a romantic relationship, or wanting a romantic relationship. He seems very happy living with Rod, a person for whom he has platonic, not romantic feelings. When thinking of something to make Rod extremely happy, he thinks of getting Rod a boyfriend within seconds, so that kind of indicates gray-aro to me, or maybe he is totally aro but realizes how important romance is to most alloromantics. He also mentions picking up on someone "coming on" to him, but maybe he meant that in a sexual way, not a romantic way. Perhaps he's lith? He picked up on it; he just wasn't interested in reciprocating. I think he is ace as well; just as he appears to have no involvement in romance, he has no involvement with sex. I suppose there is a good chance he is heterosexual, because he slips up and makes the implied generalization that all men who are sexually attracted to men are gay. He feels comfortable using the term "queer," and many non-queer people aren't comfortable using it because it is a reclaimed slur.

I head-canon Princess Bubblegum and Marceline from "Adventure Time" as gray-aromantics. Princess Bubblegum is only seen in one romantic relationship, and literal centuries have passed between that relationship and the "present" in the show. She shows no interest in finding a romantic partner and she is irritated with having suitors, some of whom have waited literal centuries and/or generations. She doesn't seem to understand romantic attraction very well. In one episode, Finn, a straight teenage male who used to have a crush, accidentally turned her body and clothes to look very young tomboyish when he had magic eyes that made people turn into whatever he "saw" them as in his head, she thought she was turned into "a teen boy heartthrob," even though most people agree that wasn't it. 

Marceline has only been cannonly seen in one romantic relationship in the course of her roughly thousand year life. When Simon asked her if she had a boyfriend yet, she looked uncomfortable and replied, no, but there was this one guy, presumably referring to Ash, the aforementioned romantic partner.

Sheldon from "The Big Bang Theory" is definitely on the aromantic spectrum. He only went on one date year before he met Amy, and that was because his mom forced him to go on these annual dates. His relationship with Amy does not seem to match most people's romantic relationships in regards to its nature. Sheldon is even more definitely ace than he is on the aro-spec. He experiences no sexual attraction and he thinks it is odd that other people do, and he even thinks sex is icky. His friends tease him for his lack of sexual attraction sometimes.