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About nixian_hound

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  • Birthday February 28

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  • Name
    the Flock
  • Orientation
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    Transxenine, Genderfae
  • Pronouns
    varies; it/its generally used

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  1. I've actually also seen it used in the sense of voluntary vs. involuntary identity arguments in alterhuman communities (quoiluntary) as well as being used in reference to belief vs nonbelief in God/gods (quoitheist -- "my relationship to G?d cannot be defined by the ideas of belief or nonbelief" was the original way it way to me). It's definitely making it's way around other communities and other contexts and it's exciting!
  2. For me, being demigender is being like the "low calorie sweetener" version of a gender? It's like ... not quite that gender, only "half" of it maybe, tastes kinda like it but definitely isn't that gender entirely or on its own.
  3. I've struggled a lot with "do I like men and have internalized biphobia or do I not and have internalized heteronormativity?" and I think the answer is aesthetic and platonic attraction to men got confused with romantic attraction and actual desire for a sexual relationship and. Yeah I'm still struggling on that but I'm pretty sure I get them mixed up a lot. If I think someone is hot, but can't imagine myself actually *doing* anything about that hotness in front of me, I say it's aesthetic?
  4. Welcome! I'm sorry you had to go through so much to get to a point of relief and understanding, but Im glad that you've found yourself and a word and experiences that fit you!
  5. This is a good point, because the way I think of gods and the way other people might think of gods are two very different things. I see gods as "big people" who are equal but have more perspective and who you have to learn how to behave around individually, who we can interact with, and who embody in essence certain forces in the world such as destruction, or love, or strength, or survival. And they can all embody different interpretations of those forces and can all co-exist (as many who do worship different deities find and corroborate) or clash the same way any other force might, which is a big difference from monotheism where a single creator God is perfect and omnibenevolent and omniscient and exists to love Their creation. Meanwhile some of my gods might actively screw me over if I aint careful. Plus, I believe myself to be a god, So the evidence someone might demand of me that gods exist is ... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I mean I believe that Im a god, so that also challenges what kind of "evidence" people might look for, because I don't believe I need to be able to manifest some visibly extant and completely unexplainable by any other means kinda power to call myself that. So if that's the proof someone wants then that's not really gonna apply. I argue subjective reality is more important here than consensus reality (though "PCPG" -- peer-corroborated personal gnosis -- is an interesting phenomenon!) with regards to the matter of "evidence" because quite frankly I don't care if it's something anyone else can perceive. There are psychology professionals who still refuse to believe Im one person sharing a body (or "one identity state" whatever the medical model is, i don't care) despite having a DID diagnosis and academic accounts that corroborate things like my system-mates having different pain tolerance, or being affected by substances differently, or not actually even sharing the same mental illnesses as me. But we still exist as multiple people sharing a body regardless. Likewise, I don't care if my gods or religious experiences are "real" or not because they are 1. experienced and observed by me, the only person I can account for even technically existing and experiencing consciousness and 2. they impact my life and perspective and sense of self in ways you can see from the changes in my behavior and attitude in life so they exist by virtue of my experiencing them and them impacting me. Whether you think they exist in the same way I do is maybe a different matter, though. Like, my girlfriend is a Reform Jewish conversion candidate and has to reconcile my experiences that she's experienced secondhand with monotheism and believes that it could be G-d manifesting in different ways to different people, especially with the overlaps she sees in my own "domains" as a god and what she sees in Judaism -- themes of survival and caring for the oppressed and outcast most notably. Meanwhile someone else might view it as an extension of my neurodivergencies, my "magical thinking" and plurality. It's easy for someone else to believe my religious possession experiences are caused exclusively by our DID even though everyone who was around at the time it happened, both in and outside the system, would tell you very very differently, myself included. And again, even if it is, it's real enough in my experience to impact me in externally observable and personally meaningful ways, so I wouldn't really care if that was the case or not. Plus if anything, it might prove to some degree the existence of a being that I at least experience as being a god? 😜 Even if someone else wouldn't call it one. (And some do!)
  6. how to tell boyfriend I mostly feel platonic love for him and don't really feel romantic or sexual attraction to him and wanna be queerplatonic without completely ruining out already shaky relationship ( : the answer is: dont and suffer because its too risky

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. arokaladin


      Ah yeah, even more complicated then. Take some time planning how you do this/what you'll do if you break up and hopefully just having the plan will make things a little easier til then.

    3. nixian_hound


      Well, the cat was kinda forced outta the bag the other day and it's ... not going terribly? Like it's hard and my partner is really hurt and doesn't understand relationship anarchy but wants to work this out. But I know right now he feels really unhappy because he feels like there's something wrong with him and I cant reassure him completely otherwise :( I know we'll work through it and Im so much happier now that he knows and I feel free to love him platonically? But it'll be a struggle. 

    4. arokaladin


      Oh jeez good luck, I’m glad it’s not a catastrophe! 

  7. "Kemetic Orthodox" is no more weird in all honesty than any other religion, and while I lightly dig at myself for being the "weird one" I feel like that "if anyone could, it would be you" comment is weirdly...personally directed? Yes, I absolutely believe Loki is an extant, literal being and god who I can and have interacted with for many many years. It's not different from any other god except you've been taught it's all fairytales instead of actual parts of religious history. Do you have more actual questions about my religious experience? I would be happy to answer anything respectful, because yes, I do take my religious life seriously and it is a genuine belief. I appreciate this, and agree again that I'd be happy to answer respectful questions.
  8. Wow I guess Im also a weird one here. There's not even a general, bland "paganism" option. :V I'm a Lokean and Pop/Modern Culture Pagan primarily, along with self-worship. I guess I'd call myself "alterpagan" as a whole since my alterhumanity + paganism combine to make a unique path I've only found others relate to in alterhuman places. My religious experience is basically going around to other gods as a small incarnate deity learning to be a bigger, better god. And Loki just happens to be the one I gravitated toward most and then ended up a godspouse of. Other deities (including Kemetic ones, though Im not Orthodox by any means :P) walk in and out of my life all the time.
  9. See, I don't necessarily see that as paralleling White/Straight/etc Fragility because that's not coming from a place of having social power that could be threatened in the first place. It's not the individual's feelings but the individual's position in society that are threatened, hence why straight men are so afraid of being seen as feminine or gay. Those things would lose them privileges and looking at their own privilege is hard and the reaction is to be either defensive or aggressive. I don't think the same power structures exist in this case, so the term wouldn't really be an accurate parallel. However, I do think there's something to be said about people handwaving off the anger and frustration of others they don't share the struggles of and especially when they consider those struggles to not be a big deal or a problem at all. That's something I've run into as an objectum person that I find overlaps a lot -- when people don't actually think it's a problem at all, they'll tell you you're overreacting, have no right to be upset, of course they don't count fringe groups/people like you, or worst of all "that's not even a real problem." I think the issue here is far more one of denial, ignorance, and erasure of the struggles of arospec people than one of non-aro folks feeling threatened. This seemed like a case of ignorance leading to denying that there's any problem there instead of looking at why you're upset because they don't understand or believe (not that that's an excuse) that there's an actual problem at all. So I don't think "alloromantic fragility" is appropriate here, I do think there's a problem to be named in the denial of the struggles of other groups, especially struggles that may not manifest as systemic social and legal discrimination and violence in the same way that other struggles might.
  10. I also gotta recommend you talk to your friend about it, but I'm sure that's obvious. I also second making sure you're well-acquainted with Risk-Aware Consent and potential red flags in stuff and how to healthily manage a BDSM relationship if it's not something you're familiar with. I would personally try to approach it by asking if you could have a serious talk for a moment and just ... be honest and upfront about what you're looking for and want and don't want. Set the relationship up not based on what others expect out of it but more what you both are comfortable with. I think a lot of people might be less intimidated if you approach it from a "friends with benefits" angle first and ease into more discussion of aromance if they aren't also aro or arospec, so you could try that? It just seems to be a more familiar concept to others and a good way to start getting others to relate to that idea. And yeah as said above unfortunately most BDSM relationships have some romance involved, but a lot of resources I've seen focus a lot more on the how to do the dynamic thing without necessarily talking about romance so that's. ... something. Best of luck to you!
  11. - Im quoiromantic and that's kind of the weird one in the aro spectrum - Im not purely 100% aro, for that matter - I don't actually believe there's a romantic/aromantic binary spectrum and everyone is along it somewhere and the only reason there seems to be one is because it's been socially constructed. So the differences and ostracization people feel is legit, it's just something that I feel, like gender, can be fixed and bridged by breaking apart the system of amatonormativity entirely. - I'm in relationships I'd call romantic - Even my platonic relationships look romantic - I've never had problems understanding romance (it's just that I don't understand why certain actions are coded as romantic only) - I like romance - Basically feel like I don't really belong or am included in the arospec even if people say I do/am so I feel kind of like I invade aro spaces bc Im not 100% aro but maybe thats just internalized crap
  12. that makes perfect sense because that's one philosophy that alterhumanity approaches human identity with, questioning what it even means and how it applies as a social construct. It's interesting something specific to folks who feel nonhuman in a sense due specifically to neurodivergence and not fitting social standards has popped up on its own (as these things really always seem to!) without it crossing over yet. If there's like, websites, blogs, anything about it that would be neat, or is it just kind of a small shared philosophy that doesn't have much tangible presence to point others to?
  13. Guess this is a good first topic to reply to? :3 1) What would be a suitable animal mascot for your romantic orientation? I liked the AroPlane Aardvark :3 I also like the idea of a platypus for quoiromantic, because it defies all binaries and classifications to the point of confounding people and making science question itself. That's what I'm all about, son. 2) Would you use 'heartbroken' to describe an aromantic going through relationship related grief? I would, yeah. It's still a matter of the heart, it's still something you feel, so 'heartbroken' absolutely could apply. I think it can apply to a lot of things even beyond relationships. 3) Would you describe a QPR more of a modified friendship or a modified romantic relationship? Or is it it's own thing? I'd absolutely call it it's own thing because it's a part of arospec culture and I think it's reductive and disrespectful to call QPRs *as a phenomenon* anything but their own special sort of relationship. If a person individually feels it's more like "a really committed friendship" or "a romantic relationship lite(tm)" then that's cool and fine. It's just when non-aros pick up the idea that QPRs shouldn't be respected as their own valid sort of relationship. Also the whole friend/romantic partner binary doesn't fit with me so ofc I'd say a QPR is something different. Would the world be better if half the population was aromantic (or on the spectrum) and half was alloromantic? Why? I don't believe in an actual defineable binary between aro and non-aro, especially if you're including all possible arospec experience. There's a lot of folks who would be considered "alloromantic" who might have more aro-spec experiences and just not label them as such. I think everyone has a unique relationship to romantic attraction and there's already diversity of feeling and attraction that just needs to be further encouraged and recognized, and a lot more people might fit across that spectrum than we currently recognize.
  14. Baph is actually a gender term I coined here. It does come from Baphomet, as the gender feeling itself is very heavily connected to it. I used to call myself an androgyne but talking to other androgynes about what I felt, none of them ever understood or felt the same way? So I just made my own word. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Aha, a bit of a complicated question for me to answer ^^;. I'm a lot of different things, but changeling, drow elf, and wolf are probably the most prominent aspects of my nonhumanity. One *could* call me otherkin/therian/fictionkin, I've been round some of those communities for 10 years now, but I've kind of gravitated toward vaguer labels and alterhumanity (more about that) as a postmodernist look at "human" as a mutable species identity and social construct not limited to being homo sapiens.
  15. It's alright, I also have a very odd way of speaking (its a schizo-spectrum thing) and use some niche labels so Im always open to clarifying if need be ^^; Glad to have the support though! It's nice to meet you too! Im deeply curious of this voidpunk thing now, what's that? Nice to meet you as well! (I actually saw it in this forum's glossary which was neat :D)
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