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And though I identify as demiromantic and panromantic, there's a tad bit of confusion, not because of my identity, but because of a label someone introduced me to, and past experiences. So, I've questioned if I was on the aromantic spectrum. I've identified as aroace before quite a few times. I told my experiences to a cupioromantic person, and they said I might be post rubor aromantic. I looked up the label and the description for me perfectly. When I had crushes on people, I felt attraction, but it faded away once the excitement died down. It always seemed like I was really enjoying the idea of the sweet words, and actions in a relationship, but not actually the relationship itself? I must sound evil. I've mostly had crushes on friends. And as a kid, crushes were rare for me and I only wanted to date because I wanted to be like everyone else at that time. I'm in a happy relationship with my boyfriend, and want to marry him, and I'm pretty sure I still feel attraction to him. It's like a friendship, but more special than one. I've noted that I've noticed signs that can count as platonic from previous attractions. As a kid I hardly thought of marriage, but when I did, it's because of stereotypes, and I thought I was supposed to. I've struggled to tell apart platonic, queerplatonic, and romantic attraction in the past. Like it was a blur. What makes me think I'm in love with my boyfriend is wanting to spend time with him, be very affectionate towards him, being very excited when he comes online (we're long distance), wanting to marry him. I've fallen in love once before with a girl. The thing similar with her and my boyfriend is they both are really good, great people who are sweet. Qualities I like in my friends, but I like my bf, and liked my ex crush in a more special way. I became obsessed with/infatuated/hyperfixated with someone so idk if that counts.

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