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This is really confusing me

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Posted (edited)

PS: I accidentally removed the post, so I'm posting again with some different things I remembered.

Hii, I'm female and I've had some feelings around some women all my life that now I'm questioning, I don't feel this way around every beautiful women so I don't think this could be just aesthetic attraction

I blush, I feel nervous around, I feel self conscious around them, I feel their presence in a room full of people, I want them to notice me so I try to make a joke or say something around them ( and I'm a very shy person around someone I don't know, so doing this kinda take me out of my comfort zone), I have daydreams where they're noticing me (thinking I'm pretty,funny and etc), couldn't stop looking at them, whenever I walked in front of them I wanted them to look at me, the majority of those women I didn't even spoke to, I just looked at them and felt this "different" feeling i remember that one day this friend of mine that I had those feelings put her hand in my face and I immediately turned red, and i felt like the world stopped for a second. ( I also never looked at those women and thought "OMG I really want to be her friend" 

I'm very confused because since a person ( that I don't know, It was a online person on reddit) told me that I could be aromantic everything is confusing in my head 

My feelings for men was a little similar but not as strong as my feelings for women, but it was easier to imagine myself in a relationship with them since I'm a woman and I was taught to be with men, so I never considered entering in a relationship with those women.

Then I asked this question on reddit and a aromantic person told me that they feel similar around some people, I even seen one saying that once they felt this way for a person and they even couldn't sleep or eat because they couldn't stop thinking about the person, I've seen other saying that they feel obsessed for a person, but they say that it isn't attraction, so I'm like 🤷‍♀️, I've had a bunch of friends all my life but I've never felt this way around them, like I felt happy when I was around them and I loved to talk to them, but I've never lose my sleep thinking about them. 


Sorry about my English 

Edited by BlackEyedPizza
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Posted (edited)

This does sound like romantic attraction to me. But at the end of the day, it'll only be named as romantic attraction if you decide to call it that. 

People name their feelings in different ways. Two people can have feelings they describe very very similarly, maybe their feelings even seem exactly the same. But they'll call their feelings different names, because they were each raised in a different way and have their unique perspectives on what different words mean. This is especially so with an ambiguous concept like romantic attraction that isn't very well defined in the first place.

So an example would be two people who feel very similar feelings of attractions, but one may call it platonic and another may call it romantic, because they have different ideas of what those two words mean. 

I would ask yourself what you'd like name to these feelings, based on what you know about romantic and other types of attraction. Some research on the internet of different types of attraction can help with this.

I would also ask yourself, if you put aside the social expectation for women to be with men, and allowed yourself to date and love any gender, would you want to date these women? 

Edited by Fox
added example for clarification
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