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Not sure if I'm aro-spec/ace-spec

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Hi!! I haven’t been on here in a while, but recently, I’ve started to question my romantic and sexual orientations. So, I’ve come on here to ask if I might be aro-spec.

I think I’ve had a couple crushes, but I’m honestly not sure. It seems like most of the ones from my childhood either felt forced or were based on another kind of attraction, like aesthetic or platonic, and I honestly I can’t even fully remember the majority of my feelings towards these so-called crushes. I might have had one in middle school, but after getting rejected by him, I felt so free and comfortable. Then, I recently thought I had a crush on a girl. It started with me realizing how cute and pretty she is and wanting to be better friends with her. And then, I started feeling romantic feelings for her, like I fantasized about kissing her once and I felt nervous around her. But once I found out she had a bf, I felt sad for a bit, and then I got over it. I also often can’t figure out whether someone else likes me romantically and whether I might feel that way towards them as well, so sometimes I’ll try to fantasize about that person; I usually feel kinda romantic towards them, like a little bit, but once I understand they’re not interested, I feel a bit dejected and then move on. I also notice that most, if not all, of the traits I look for in a romantic partner are the ones I look for in friends (I’m mentioning it bc I’ve heard that it can be a sign of being aro-spec), and I like the idea of a romantic relationship; although it might seem a bit scary to be single for the rest of my life, since I would like to love someone and have a close bond with them, but at the same time, I know I wouldn’t be alone. I really like the idea of being super close with someone, whether that be romantically, platonically, or queer-platonically, but I don't think it would be the end of the world if I never ended up falling in love with or dating anyone. Like, the idea of falling in love is really nice to fantasize about, but if it never happens, that's okay, too. I just can't figure out for sure what kind of attraction I experience.

So, what do y’all think? I think I could be greyromantic, but idk for sure. 

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Honestly it is up to you 

It sounds like you definitely experience romantic attraction at least in the way you interpret it, however you also seem rather unattached to romance. The question is not who you are, you already know that. The question is how you want to classify, to quantify what you know about yourself, whether you even want to. You seem to have thought a lot about how you feel just take some time to decide what you want to call the special being that is you 🙂

What I can tell you though is that I’m pretty certain that the majority of alloromantics seem to be rather more fond and engrossed with the idea of romance and if you told me you were aro, grey aro is what I would probably picture in my head

Edited by ASailorStub
Wanted to add some more thoughts
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