Am I aro, demi, grey romantic, or something entirely different?

[snowdrop96]

Since I am 16-18 years old (now 27) I am sure that I am asexual, I am also sex-repulsed, so it was clear to me pretty early on. The thing I just can't seem to figure out my romantic orientation. Until recently I havent even thought or cared about it. I never had a crush in real-life before let alone fallen in love.

But almost three years ago I got to know someone and we pretty quickly built rapport. Since 2 years we are in contact daily and he plays a really big role in my life and i feel different towards him than towards my other friends. Being with him just makes me feel safe and "at home" I also trust him with everything, he is my go-to person, I want to keep him in my life and he is very important to me. Because I am struggeling mentally, he agreed to move in with me to better support me and not only for a year or two, maybe not for thirty years but definetly long term. We will have seperate rooms though. There is nothing sexual between us, but I am fine and even like stuff like hand holding, cuddling, normal kissing etc. ( I wouldn't want that with my other friends). In front of others I usually just refer to him as my "best friend".

I have no desire of being in a romantic relationship with him ( but I wouldnt decline if he asked). A weird thing is that I also get butterflies sometimes but usually in situations where they are more likely to occur anyway and pretty rarely in general. Like when I feel touched, when he tries to comfort me, when I have a panic attack (which in itself can cause butterfly feelings and his efforts to calm me down just get my over the edge) or when we are being silly and playfully teasing eachother it happens sometimes (not in a sexual or flirty way), which gets me in a cheerful/excited mood, which could also make them more prone to happen. I dont know, am i grey-demi-romantic and at least a bit in love with him or is it "just" alterous/queerplatonic/sensual attraction i am feeling towards him? and is there a name/label(s) for this?

I would be grateful for any kind of suggestion and advice and if you want to know more details to better determine it, I will of course give them/answer your questionsI am really new t most of this (except of my asexuality) and am trying to find terms that fit me best.