My journey (2020-present)

[Needlemouse]

Gender: It all started when I was scrolling through the internet, since we were all quarantined, and I was bored. I had found something that basically said Marco Diaz was transgender. I wondered what transgender was since I never heard of it before. And when I found out, I believed it couldn't be me. That night, I was questioning, but denied the right to, since I believed I was cis. But before I continue, when I hit puberty it was a disaster. I had been unprepared. And I practically had a tantrum when I had to go bra shopping. I wanted my flat chest back. Anyways, the next day (or two) I started questioning, not trying to even avoid it. I wanted to be a boy. At this time, I told my ex-best friend that I was questioning. She told me I'm gonna use they/them pronouns since your Non-binary. I told her I wanted to be a boy. And she told me to go for it, so I went with it. And then I heard of genderfluid, and so that was me for a bit. And I started a cycle of doubting, then questioning, then getting upset because of the doubting and questioning, then finding a label that "fit." I went through several labels, and pronouns, and names. (Now, I know, I could go unlabeled and shouldn't have stressed over this). There were periods where I identified as xenogenders. Then at one point, my gender seemed to flip flop between agender and male. And then it seemed as if I identified just as male, I would get sick of it, and not want to be a boy anymore, and when I identify as just not having a gender I get sick of that and want a gender. And then, I felt that I was not a boy or a girl, masculine, feminine, or neutral. In other words maverique/aporagender. And we all know that I eventually started using binary nouns and pronouns on myself. And recently had a moment where I identified as a boy.

Dysphoria: My first time with actual dysphoria was at the gynecologist (wasn't my appointment, was with family), and I was sitting in the waiting room, and such, and I felt like I didn't belong there, and became disgusted with my body, and wanted out of there. From there I grew to understand that I have dysphoria with my chest, and my body mostly in general. There are some feminine characteristics (small ones) that I don't really mind too much. And Anne Frank's diary made my dysphoria act up, and so did a book about male puberty, since I wanted to understand that. Big mistake.

There were several other ways I could've handled this, but I stressed out over something I didn't have to stress over. I could be genderfaun/gendermars, but I really don't feel attracted to that label, nor many other labels if I'm being honest. So I'm going to probably go unlabeled, or just identify as genderqueer/nonbinary.

That's my journey from 2020 to the present.

[Guest]

On 4/4/2023 at 9:57 AM, The Lost One said:

Gender: It all started when I was scrolling through the internet, since we were all quarantined, and I was bored. I had found something that basically said Marco Diaz was transgender. I wondered what transgender was since I never heard of it before. And when I found out, I believed it couldn't be me. That night, I was questioning, but denied the right to, since I believed I was cis. But before I continue, when I hit puberty it was a disaster. I had been unprepared. And I practically had a tantrum when I had to go bra shopping. I wanted my flat chest back. Anyways, the next day (or two) I started questioning, not trying to even avoid it. I wanted to be a boy. At this time, I told my ex-best friend that I was questioning. She told me I'm gonna use they/them pronouns since your Non-binary. I told her I wanted to be a boy. And she told me to go for it, so I went with it. And then I heard of genderfluid, and so that was me for a bit. And I started a cycle of doubting, then questioning, then getting upset because of the doubting and questioning, then finding a label that "fit." I went through several labels, and pronouns, and names. (Now, I know, I could go unlabeled and shouldn't have stressed over this). There were periods where I identified as xenogenders. Then at one point, my gender seemed to flip flop between agender and male. And then it seemed as if I identified just as male, I would get sick of it, and not want to be a boy anymore, and when I identify as just not having a gender I get sick of that and want a gender. And then, I felt that I was not a boy or a girl, masculine, feminine, or neutral. In other words maverique/aporagender. And we all know that I eventually started using binary nouns and pronouns on myself. And recently had a moment where I identified as a boy.

Dysphoria: My first time with actual dysphoria was at the gynecologist (wasn't my appointment, was with family), and I was sitting in the waiting room, and such, and I felt like I didn't belong there, and became disgusted with my body, and wanted out of there. From there I grew to understand that I have dysphoria with my chest, and my body mostly in general. There are some feminine characteristics (small ones) that I don't really mind too much. And Anne Frank's diary made my dysphoria act up, and so did a book about male puberty, since I wanted to understand that. Big mistake.

There were several other ways I could've handled this, but I stressed out over something I didn't have to stress over. I could be genderfaun/gendermars, but I really don't feel attracted to that label, nor many other labels if I'm being honest. So I'm going to probably go unlabeled, or just identify as genderqueer/nonbinary.

That's my journey from 2020 to the present.