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Does this make me aro?


Guest Questioning anon
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Guest Questioning anon

I've began questioning myself and I'm not exactly sure if I am aro or not, so I'm looking for some clarity. 

I have read through some threads that I can relate to, like not having much of a preference on gender, thinking I might be pan or bi because of it. 

My experience with "relationships" are rocky. I had my first one when I was 14-15, and it was online. It was short lived because I then started to date someone else in that time frame. I didn't hit it off with the first guy at all. And this other guy was already a friend of mine. We used to roleplay on a forum. 

But now as I look back, I'm not sure if I ever felt romantically toward them. Sure I used to say things like "we'll meet when we are grown up and we'll get married in the future", but I mainly would say that to cheer them up because sometimes they would get depressed and say negative things. Then they ghosted me for four years, so any feelings I did have are definitely gone.

However, after that, I've became desperate to find someone like that again. To have a bond like that. Online that is. Those didn't go to plan, and I became a toxic person during those hard times. Rather not go into detail. 

Truthfully I've never experienced those strong romantic emotions, but I want to feel love. I want to hug and cuddle, but I guess I could do that with friends. 

I don't know. This is all confusing. 

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41 minutes ago, Guest Questioning anon said:

Truthfully I've never experienced those strong romantic emotions, but I want to feel love. I want to hug and cuddle, but I guess I could do that with friends. 

I don't know. This is all confusing.

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Does this make me aro?

First, I'd like to elaborate that no one but you can figure out whether you are aro or not. There isn't anything that can "make" you aro or not aro, except taking or rejecting the label. If you want to identify as aro and/or feel like it's a word that fits you, you can.

Second, what constitutes as "romantic" is up for interpretation. "Romantic" is a way we can categorize feelings, but it's not anything that is inherent to them. That means that whether you've experienced romantic feelings or not is something only you can determine.

Finally, there are varied forms of love; romantic love isn't the only one.

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