MJisConfused Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 Hello, I have just started my journey to figuring out where I lie on the aro spectrum so this is mostly a lot of my bottled up confusion. In definitions of aro identities it is always defined as their view/relationship with romantic attraction (repulsion, lack of, little amount, etc.) But what exactly is romantic attraction? Personally, I am realizing that I love my friend very deeply, the kind of love where you emotionally depend on them, tell them everything, would do anything for them, and just always want to be around them. Some people say the dividing line is "Do you want to cuddle, kiss, or hug them?" and if it's yes then that means you are romantically attracted to them. As an ace person but also a person that shows affection through physical touch (hugs, hand holding) I can't really use that as a dividing line. I've been in a relationship that did all of the above but it turned out I didn't really like being sexually intimate with him and cuz I was an ace lesbian (lol rip him but not really he was an asshole). I've also had amazing friendships where we bonded so tightly and were really physical with each other: big hugs, hand holding, cuddling (not in a sexually attraction way). So what is the line then? Wanting life-long commitment? Wanting kids? I know plenty alloromantic people that want neither and I just learned that some QP relationships can be life-long, so no these defining factors don't help. How am I supposed to find the dividing line between platonic love and romantic love? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deltalorian Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 It can be very blurry yeah. If you think that the way you love about your friend is unique to her (ie under no circumstance could you feel the same way about your other friends) then it's probably romantic. If you could feel that way about other friends if the relationship was allowed to reach that stage of affection, then it's probably platonic. In the end, only you can decide your boundary between platonic and romantic, because these are your relationships. If you really struggle to find the line between platonic and romantic, you probably form queer-platonic bonds with friends. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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