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Questioning biG TIMe

Guest AJ :)

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First: hi, I'm AJ (maybe?) and my pronouns (again, maybe?) are he/they. I'm going to try to keep this short:

You can skip this part if you want (it's my "backstory")- Basically: any crush (??) I have ever felt felt pressured and I "picked" them out of my class, but I think I just chose someone I wanted to be friends with. I like reading and watching romantic things because I find it interesting, and I even can imagine being in a romantic situation (after reading/watching/etc a scene only though?). I'm dating someone now but it's been rough and still is. They say they love me but I don't know if I love them like that. I thought I did, but they like dates and hand-holding, celebrating anniversaries and making "i love you" playlists, stuff like that. I don't, I don't want to kiss or date or hold their hand when I know it's a romantic thing. I don't want to hurt them but I really don't think I want to date them. I don't think I would want to get married or have kids of my own, not that those are "off-limits" to the ace/aro community. I feel stupid that I don't know so I did some research. I found stuff like lithromantic, aroflux, etc. and the labels and "descriptions" felt so much closer than other things and I felt happy, but nothing really fit yet.

**This is the important part: Does anyone know any sources to like a "dictionary" I can use, or maybe you yourself know a term? I'm more comfortable with a label and I really want to figure out who I am. If not, thanks for reading this anyway :) (Also if anything wasn't clear, I can try to help clarify or answer a question if you need it :P thanks!)

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Personally, I ID as aro. Yet when I first came across terms like this, I didn't clearly feel by any means aro. 

The aromantic website AUREA has a whole section on identity terms- https://www.aromanticism.org/en/identity-terms, as well as newly emerging and uncommon terms, and terminology in general. It's a good source if you'd like to explore for yourself. 

As for my input, arohaze could be a term you could adopt for yourself. Meaning: one's identity as aromantic is vague/haze-like in general. 

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