Is It Possible That I Am Demiromantic?

[Milooo_5]

I have been questioning my romantic orientation for a while, and recently, I've been wondering if I am aromantic. However, after looking into it, demiromantic seems a bit more plausible. I don't really enjoy romantic media and my idea of a romantic relationship is probably not how a relationship actually is, but after reflecting a bit, I've found that most of the few crushes I can recall (fictional and real) only occurred a while after knowing the character/person well. Honestly, when I first meet a character/person, I either want to be their friend or simply think that they are aesthetically pleasing. Then, after becoming friends with them/getting to know them better, I may or may not (depending on the person) develop a small crush on them. I have a couple of small crushes on a couple friends of mine, to the point where I would want to hug them or hold their hand, but that's about it. Maybe a kiss on the cheek or forehead, but nothing more. Also, when I would entertain the idea of a relationship in the future, it's always with a hypothetical, male friend whom I'm very close to 

So, what am I? Demiromantic? Aromantic in denial? 

[Guest Guest]

You said 'small crush'? Could that be a 'squish', 'lush', etc? 

I also have the issue with my ideas of relationships being hypothetical, theoretical, unrealistic. I'd say you'd be the best judge of your orientation, you could stick with it, it could be fluid or you could find a better term eventually. I'd say not to overly stress over it (though who am I to say that when I had a recent mental breakdown over my orientation). 

Hope you find clarity with this <3

[Guest Guest]

Sounds like it could be aesthetic attraction, if you would want to hug them or hold their hand and that's mostly it, that sounds like some of my prior feelings towards people. (I ID as aro) 

There are some aro songs that I like which could help you out if you like that sort of thing, just to moderate your feelings. 

[Milooo_5]

3 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

Sounds like it could be aesthetic attraction, if you would want to hug them or hold their hand and that's mostly it, that sounds like some of my prior feelings towards people. (I ID as aro) 

There are some aro songs that I like which could help you out if you like that sort of thing, just to moderate your feelings. 

Sure, I'd love some aro song requests!

[Guest Guest]

For Me- Dearlie, 

Platonic Love Song #1- Lauren Bird

I Promise I'm Trying- Cavetown

Love Love Love- Of Monsters and Men 

Would You Be So Kind- Dodie (at first I hated this song, but then I saw it more as my inner conflicts talking to me instead of an outsider, and I vibed) 

Hope you like some of them, hope I could help with your identity questioning but as I am somewhat questioning as well I don't think I'll be of much use. Good luck though!

[Milooo_5]

Just now, Guest Guest said:

For Me- Dearlie, 

Platonic Love Song #1- Lauren Bird

I Promise I'm Trying- Cavetown

Love Love Love- Of Monsters and Men 

Would You Be So Kind- Dodie (at first I hated this song, but then I saw it more as my inner conflicts talking to me instead of an outsider, and I vibed) 

Hope you like some of them, hope I could help with your identity questioning but as I am somewhat questioning as well I don't think I'll be of much use. Good luck though!

Thank you! I'll make sure to give these a listen!

[Guest Guest]

Oh and also Kalmia kid by Chloe Moriondo is bordering on aro with some of the lyrics!

Also if you haven't listened yet, warning some of them are kind of bordering on internalized aphobia (even if that's not how they were written to mean) so if you feel like that would make you uncomfortable or sad in any way maybe not?