SageBookLover

Is it possible to be cupioromantic and apothiromantic at the same time, im romance repulsed. I feel uncomfortable when someone directs their romantic interest at me or just the thought of being in a romantic relationship, and intimate. But I don’t feel that way about romance by itself, I love watching romantic movies or reading about it. And I do wish to be with someone in that way as I love being intimate and close but at the same time it makes my skin crawl and feels wrong. Is it possible to be both operations

I have a alterous crush on my friend and we are very close and open with each other so he knows. He has romantic feelings for me and we have discussed maybe being in a possible relationship but i don’t want to date at all. We feel completely different things for each other. I just feel emotional closeness in an intimate way, I dont feel romantic for him in any way and he wants to be in a romantic relationship but I feel uncomfortable with that. I do wish to be intimate with him like things people do in relationships but at the same time it makes me uncomfortable and I don’t want to do it at all. I’m confused how to go about this. I feel like I’m deceiving him, I do want to be with him but for some reason it just doesn’t feel right. I feel disgusted with the thought of being with him and doing intimate things but at the same time I crave it. Is there something wrong with me? I feel like I’m leading him on and idk what to do