Abster

32 minutes ago, brook_worm said:

I have. She asked me out and thanks to amatonormativity i thought maybe i wanted to be with her too, so i said yes. I knew i wasn't ~in love~ or anything, but i liked her a lot and i figured it would develop over time. At the time, i remember being pretty nervous and unsure about the whole thing, but i figured we were just going on one date to see if we were a good match. Imagine my surprise when she referred to me as her SO the next day! We clearly had different ideas of what we were agreeing to in the beginning, but i didn't want to ruin it by disagreeing so i was like "welp guess i have a gf now."

 

I think part of it was a social status thing too -- i wanted to get an SO because my friends all paired off or at least had been in a relationship before, and i was afraid people would think i was a loser who couldn't get a date, instead of just not wanting one. I wanted a girlfriend so i could say i had one, and to prove to myself that i was appealing enough for someone to pick me as "the one" over everyone else they knew. That's not what i was thinking at all when i agreed to go out with her, but i sort of knew i had that mindset and in retrospect it definitely made me more inclined to believe i was falling for her even as it became more and more clear that i wasn't.

 

We were together for about a year and a half, although i felt wrong about the whole thing for most of the relationship. I didn't want to lose her as a friend, so i stuck around a lot longer than i should have. It was incredibly stressful and i felt really guilty for not feeling the way i was "supposed" to feel. Very happy to be out of that relationship, even though she's a great girl. Feels like i can finally breathe right again!

Bless you, friend! Honestly this perfectly describes my last relationship... felt I had to go out with him cause ‘why not?’ And well ananormativity made me stick in that relationship longer than I should’ve 

2 hours ago, Costati said:

I thought I was a heartless bitch who only cared about sex and would always use everyone. Or someone who could never be able to satisfied herself with anyone because secretely too much of a stupid narcissistic. I never had a really great self-esteem but still that's what an alloromantic society can do to people. It's disgusting. I still hate myself for other things but at least now I know this particular issue really isn't my fault.

Can’t even begin to tell you how much I can relate 

Elementary school me: 

1. Pardon my French but everyone who keeps telling you that you should have crush can Fuck off! 

2. That’s not a crush it’s a squish you just want to be friends 

3. Romance is cute when others do it but honestly how do you really feel if it was you in that situation? 

Middle school me: 

1. The reason why you don’t know how you feel about that guy is cause You just want to make out with him not actually be his girlfriend 

2. I know society is making you feel bad for not being in a relationship but I promise you aren’t missing much! 

3. You’re adorable don’t let yourself think otherwise, the tomboy thing is actually quite badass! Own it! 

High school me: 

1. You may be straight in terms of sex, but there’s a reason you have no desire to date anybody 

2. you like attention, not him  

3. No you’re not falling for him either, once again, Sexual attraction 

4. you don’t owe anyone romantic feelings no matter how good they are to you! 

College me: 

1. You’re not Bi and you’re not a lesbian you just have a strong squish on her! Go ahead and make friends! 

2. Your anxiety is telling you’re romantically attracted her when you’re not 

3. You don’t love him, you love the sex 

4. You don’t have to stay with him in order to feel ‘normal’ 

5. I think you know deep down that that relationship isn’t going to last and it’s not just cause he’s going nowhere in life! 

Asexual, bi, pan.... I realized I was heterosexual because I couldn’t imagine myself being sexually with other women and I thought I couldn’t be straight since I wasn’t big on romantic relationships with men.... but liked the idea of having sex with them... really confusing journey that took awhile for me to figure out... esspecially since it took me awhile to figure out romantic and sexual differences 

Let’s see... we’ll when I was a kid (elementary school)  everyone would talk About who they had a crush on... when I was asked I’d say nobody I don’t even get what a ‘crush’ is! And they’d literally get angry insisting that everyone had a crush on someone so I ‘had’ to have one! My friends would get really giddy around romantic comedies and keep talking about all these guys they wanted to date (ages 13-16) and I’d get really mad about that cause everyone insisted that because I was a girl it had to mean I was obsessed with Romance! I never understood why people felt the need to shove liking someone down my Throat... and everywhere I’d go people would make me feel bad about not being in a relationship through high school. Also growing up I never understood why everyone thought that single = miserable..... I’ve been in relationships before and have actually tried it out but I’m able to exhale a lot better when I’m single 

I feel  that just because I am Aromantic but allosexual people will think that all I care about is sex and that I’m only using people for just that.... they will probably write me off as some kind of ‘emotionless whore’ (I am a cis female) for having a sexual attraction to men rather than wanting a romantic relationship as ‘all women do is desire romance’

I’ve been in an LTR before.... I’m on the spectrum haven’t found a label yet and even though I felt for this guy and wanted his companionship I found our relationship was just like a really close exclusive friendship only we had sex, held hands, kiss, and cuddled.. (I’m allosexual)

On 2/11/2018 at 5:55 PM, Lia said:

I just broke up with my boyfriend after two weeks(!) because I was feeling trapped in the relationship and I kinda already knew that I didn't really want a romantic relationship but just went along with it because I felt like I was supposed to be happy because it was finally happening... Well I felt terrible, he was all cute and really nice and everything I could have wanted (if I wanted a romantic relationship to begin with) but it just wasn't and I'm just really happy it's over and I can be happily single again

Yeah I sorta feel that way about my LTR I just got out of... I really cared deeply for him but we acted as exclusive friends who cuddled, kissed and had sex we were missing that ‘romantic element’ that screamed LTR if you know what I mean...

YMBAI you’re perfectly content being single the rest of your life