Funny Individual

@Fox TBH, I always thought that platonic attraction applied to family or aquaintences, because with family its usually the strongest and easiest to identify. You care for your family just because you live together, you're bonded to them in an incredibly strong way. You might be. The main thing is that platonic attraction USUALLY doesn't lead to any fantasizing, period. You might just look forward to certain things("me and mabel are going out to brunch next saturday! so great to catch up!" that sort of thing). TBF, I haven't felt queerplatonic attraction so I don't know how different it is. Even for best friends, you love them to death but you don't think about them outside of when you're interacting

I mean, I'm alloplatonic but except for VERY close friends and family do I really feel happy or excited when thinking about them and not just neutral. Even friends who I'm relatively close with I will just not think about them if I don't see them or if I do think about them it'll be about what we last did together and not about the person themselves. So as an alloplatonic I relate to a lot of your feelings. I think the thing is that platonic attraction is just kind of...weaker compared to other attractions and the people you are friends with/platonically attracted to rarely enter your mind too often even if you are very excited to see them when they're around

Should I try to relearn german? I knew a bit but then I lost it all :( how many germans DONT speak english?

I've never kissed, however if I did kiss a partner I would make sure that it would be just lips, some kisses people will practically eat each others faces and that would feel the equivalent of having the dentist touch the saliva within your mouth and get it all over your cheeks when you can't do anything about it because they're working with your teeth...not a fun feeling

@forest_gremlin the best idea would probably just be to make your feelings clear and if needed tell them to stop bringing it up, I know thats kind of a rude thing to ask but if they keep stressing you out about it you should tell them at the very least. Sometimes in these situations its almost impossible for one of the people to keep it fully platonic so the friendship might not work out

In my opinion atleast, a lot of the things people tend to feel in platonic attraction are amped up in romantic attraction. Do you feel very simular to your friend the way you felt to the person you dated(and felt romantic feelings toward)? Even if you don't, you can still have a QPR with them. Its just that they may at one point want to advance the relationship into a romantic one and then you will have to worry about that again(and they may feel like you giving mixed signals by being a in a QPR with them). So its up to you how you want to handle the situation, just be honest about how you actually feel about them,

10 hours ago, forest_gremlin said:

Is it normal to feel so guilty over the fact I don't like them back?

You care for him and his feelings, so its completely normal.

If they are asking straight up to be your partner, then that would be harder(maybe lie and say you already have one), otherwise if they're just asking to go out with you say you have other plans, its the easiest way to reject someone. 

Of course if you're okay with being honest that you don't feel that way for them then you can say that too

@smac n cheese For me, it felt very different. You don't really fantasize(too much) about a squish, you don't think about them nearly as often as you would a crush. You obviously don't know them very well, so your main goal is to befriend them. You usually seek them out for a specific trait(same interests, good personality, etc) and the feeling is not nearly as intense as a crush so sort of how people say they can't help who they fall inlove with or that they feel too strong about their crush not to ask them out or whatever, having a squish is not that strong and you can't make an excuse that a squish would guide you to be with the wrong person. If you have a squish on someone and they are an asshole you don't have hormones firing in your mind that tell you to stay in the friendship(thats mainly what I'm trying to say). I had one a few months ago, mainly I was interested in getting her attention since I admired her personality. Once we became friends it felt like the mission was over and my feelings were more or less normal 

I identify as grayro but my attraction leans more towards alterous, I just use the label for my own sanity. Anyway, I know probably none of you identify as alloromantic but I'm still wondering....is love at first sight possible? I feel like lots of people get confused with infatuation and love(there are many different definitions for the two, some people consider infatuation to be love and some people consider love to be infatuation). I've kind of had crushes but it was more like I would get nervous around the person for no particular reason and liked the way they looked, I wouldn't even think about them that much outside of the situations where I would see them, but idk. But can love at first sight or within a week really happen? The type of romantic love that people write poetry about and make songs about where you deeply know and care for each other? Even things like romeo and juliet where(if anyone has ever been forced to read the book in english class) they basically know each other for 2-3 days and immediately want to have a life together and marry, I always found that to be rather impossible and more a result of teenage rebellion rather than true love. But also times where different, either you married who your parents chose and you were very lucky to feel 'true' love. Honestly from my understanding that type of love takes a while to form and can't happen insanely quickly. I was just wondering if anyone knew someone who had that sort of experience(and also people can over/undertalk their attraction in hindsight) or maybe had that experience themselves, especially the type that wasn't some sort of weird obsession but actually love

I'm offended that you have a frog label thing

3281

I got first place in a kahoot :D

yes, but at most I will care for maximum a day or two. It feels as sad as a fictional character dying in a book or something like that to me, except they are real which makes it more sad

I experience this too, its called alterous attraction

You feel excited but in a good way (for refference I'm greyro). Some people compare it to being addicted and (from my understanding) that is very simular to some of the brain chemistry in your mind, where each time you are with that person, thinking about them, etc. is a dopamine boost. So the best way to imagine would be that your addicted to a drug and this person satisfies the craving and you feel a bit of a natural 'high' around them which leads to you always trying to get that next hit. Thats really where the obsession, desiring of being close together as often as possible, etc. comes from. And when you want that person exclusively then you would want to go on a date with them then you want to start a relationship to be more deticated and make that addiction 'official'. However I don't feel the desire to kiss so I still don't know about that

I am greyro but ENTJ-T, personaly i think the myerrs briggs is probably really inaccurate and not based on science