mordo

Honestly hate when I remember im aro, like there’s no reason i should be forgetting it because im fairly romance repulsed but also knee deep in denial and deep rooted shame about it. Idk why i feel gross about not wanting all the romantic stuff but it’s prom season so the shame is setting in and it doesn’t help that trying to build an art account requires mainly fanart that revolves around ships because it usually does the best. Idk i kinda just hate everything about it rn but I know it’ll pass eventually 

just realized that usually when i’m creating a character i forget to give them romantic attraction, not in like a purposefully making characters aro way but since i don’t ever register it i don’t really think about it in terms of characters. even when i give characters a partner (usually don’t because i forget) i forget that there’s more than just being roommates who feel safe around each other. kinda just putting this out here to see if other aros do this but it came up bc i gave a character a shirt that says “boy kisser” and didn’t realize it would be taken as gay bc i never really thought about him being in any kind of romantic situations because i never think about them at all

names have so much more nuance than people tend to treat them, like yeah i have one name that’s good across the board and i changed it to be my legal name but that doesn’t mean that i don’t want to use other names with different groups of people. but i don’t want those other names to be my legal name. sometimes a name is a personal thing, like nicknames. parts of an identity are personal sometimes and it’s ok to keep it that way 

but also like too scared to tell people they can call me other things because they’ll overthink it

in most ways im pretty romance repulsed, i usually forget i am until confronted with romance lol but like i feel such strong aesthetic attraction towards people, like how i imagine allos feel about a crush and it’s wild? like usually with fictional characters or actors or whatever but like people are so pretty sometimes and it makes me question my aromanticism sometimes lol

i can’t tell if i’m aromantic or just too scared to care about someone more than they care about me. i also don’t really consider anyone my friend for the same reason. i have a tendency to block out most of my emotions anyway and i’ve like constantly throughout my life been betrayed by people i thought were close friends and so now i just try to keep myself distant from anyone. i really want a partner and close friends but i also feel weird letting people get that close to me. i don’t know if i’m just blocking out attraction to “save myself” or if i’m aromantic and it’s a little confusing 

im fine being masculine, i know how to do it and its comfortable although i wish i could be more feminine. i don’t really relate to being a girl at all though and i don’t really think of myself as a guy, i don’t really care if people see me as a girl or a guy though. i don’t really feel like either gender but i’m fine being either one at the same time??? idk it’s a little silly idk what this is lol

38 minutes ago, BloodLust said:

So, I've looked into genderfluid quite a bit, and now I'm feeling anxiety with the idea of identifying as/being genderfluid. I have this tense uncomfortable feeling at that idea. I looked up "identifying as genderfluid gives me anxiety" and gender dysphoria popped up. That might not be the case. So that's a no on genderfluid? And I most definitely do not want to be genderfaun, and there's no way I'm genderfae and genderflor. I don't think so, at least? So I'm going to research other genders and see if any fit in depth.

 

Do you know why that gave me such a negative feeling? Anyways, thanks for reading this.

Edit: I think I'm afraid of potentially being genderfluid, but I don't know why.

in my experience i just get anxious with identifying as any fluid identity even if the feelings i have to fluctuate because i like things to be consistent and it’s hard when your identity is inconsistent.

also kinda going through the same thing being agender, like i know i probably am but it seems so complicated that i just sit in denial most of the time because those emotions are complicated 

just remember to use whatever labels make you comfortable, there’s no pressure to identify as anything if it makes you uncomfortable just use the labels you like

amazing as long as it’s quiet 

next person gets a shaved chimpanzee 

i don’t really know how to know which pronouns i like or not because it’s kinda just based on what would be funny or make sense? like any pronouns or gendered compliments are more of a punchline to a joke to me if that makes sense, i only really present masculine because i don’t really know how to look good feminine so usually just go with masculine pronouns and stuff because that’s what i pass as but i wish people would be more chill about using different pronouns but i also don’t really care

idk it’s confusing and i don’t really know what gender i am anyways so it seems silly to tell people to use other things if i don’t really care too much about it anyways

Never understood how people can describe their ideal partner, especially in the terms of having a “type”. it’s such an important idea to allos for some reason and it’s a little silly

before i knew i was aro my “ideal partner” was basically a human pillow that i could share rent with, like a roommate to cuddle 

idk i just think it’s a little silly and wanted to know if other aros had ideas of what a relationship would be that allos thought was weird 

made this one myself 

realizing my ex was indeed an asshole and that outing me to an entire group chat i wasn’t in was a fucking asshole move, turns out that breaking up with someone and explaining that you are aroace is just going to end up in them ignoring the aro part and outing you as ace because they need to prove it wasn’t their fault you broke up. also just being ignored when coming out to people is ass

32 minutes ago, Serafu said:

getting self-righteous displays of behavior from alloromantics :'] since I don't feel romantic attraction for real life people at all, some alloro will say something like "loving real life people is really hard" or "you're lucky you won't get to experience heartbreak" as if I don't know any better. the microaggressions piss me off lol

omg in the same vein as like being “lucky” to not experience heartbreak people just assuming that people don’t get heartbroken by friendships ending, or just the overall nonchalance towards any relationship that isn’t romantic that they have 

also the fact that alloros will straight up basically abandon friendships once they get into a romantic relationship, just tired of feeling ignored until the eventual breakup where they come crawling back and it feels shitty

im about 2/3 of the way through loveless by alice oseman and honestly thrilled to have representation and it’s a well written book but reading it kinda feels sucky at times. like on one hand love getting representation and characters to relate to but also kinda going through the grief i felt realizing i was aroace again reading georgia coming to terms with her sexuality. like it can be an isolating sucky experience and still being completely closeted after three years feels shitty and it’s kinda just bringing up a lot of the shitty feelings i have about my own sexuality while also being a really good book about finding yourself and ahhhhhhh 

nickname for mordecai in regular show, love regular show 

5 minutes ago, Bleh_202 said:

Intro: 

name:tegan

pronouns: he/they 

sexuality: lithromantic 

extra facts: im trans ftm and i have autism and adhd:))

hi!! welcome!!

honestly just my opinion not trying to speak for everyone but personally aro communities saying the whole “we still feel love even if it’s not romantic” feels like excluding the people who don’t necessarily feel “love” for other people. idk sometimes it feels like there isnt much community for the people who don’t feel strong/any alterous attraction, and it feels weird not feeling any attraction or desire for a close relationship even though it’s the “stereotypical” view of what aromantic is. kinda just a rant and no hate to aros who do feel strong forms of attraction or want a relationship i’m mostly just trying to find other people who relate lol

6 hours ago, emily conderson said:

Am I really aromantic? I can't see myself in any sort of romantic relationship, this is probably the main reason I think I might be aro. But at the same time, I can't just... I can't admit it. It just feels like if I admit it I will be lonely for the rest of my life, even though I know I wouldn't be happy in a relationship. Also, I often have "crushes"(like when I see a very beautiful person or just a very cool person in my opinion) and I sometimes really want to hug people and hold their hands and kiss but not in a romantic way, but at the moment I feel something like this I think "Well, maybe I'm not aromantic after all, maybe I can be happy just like other people". How can I admit that I'm aromantic and be happy or get to know that I'm not and have just an attachment issue(one more point why i can't say I'm aro)...

this is exactly how i felt for years, honestly put off identifying as aromantic and gaslit myself even though i had been in relationships and every time it felt really bad and i felt guilty because i didn’t like them the same way. aesthetic attraction is also so confusing at times and i need to remind myself that wanting to be close to someone or thinking they look pretty doesn’t mean i’d be happy with them romantically. honestly the best thing to make me feel better about it all is watching/reading representation in media or reading other aromantic ppls stories bc then you don’t feel as alone and it helps process everything 

13 minutes ago, Isa1116 said:

Okay, but that look he gave when he gave when that guy (sorry I don't read these so idk anyone's names) basically said he isn’t normal just hit me so hard it gave me the feels lol 🥲

honestly being aroace and having friends obsessed with dating and relationships it hit a little too close to home, saw that panel before i read the comic and it tore me apart lol

jughead jones from the jughead comics is canonically ace (heavily implied aro) and is literally the most amazing rep i’ve ever seen (also he’s just an amazing character what can i say) 

i’ve never really felt a strong connection to anyone, even when i was a kid i didn’t really have a “best friend” or anything because i just wasn’t super interested in anyone in any aspect. i have friends and i enjoy their company and appreciate them but i don’t feel like it’s super close, it’s a connection but i feel like love is supposed to be deeper? idk, i don’t let anyone know i even have a lack of romantic attraction because i feel like i would alienate myself more so idk how to process what this is 

i’m still questioning where exactly i fall on the aroace spectrum but a friend recommended this site lol, just glad to be here