Keith

I think that it's mostly because they just don't know about aromanticism/asexuality or any identity that falls under the A-spectrum, or they just think that it's not real because "how can you not experience something that makes us humans?" (I obviously don't agree with this statement, it's just something I've seen non a-spec people say about us).

I've also seen people saying that we don't belong in the community, because our struggles are too different from those allos/not aros/a-spec ppl have, which is just as invalid as the previous so called 'argument'. 

Hello and welcome on the forum!!

I ALSO LOVE GARFIELD!! And I've always wanted to play Ace Attorney 💔

The Sims 4, Subway Surfers, Hatsune Miku Colorful Stage & LitlleBigPlanet (1,2 and 3)

Hello!! 

The journey of figuring out your orientation must have been hard for you, however I'm glad you finally realised it!

Welcome on the forum!

Two of my friends recently announced that they're dating. And don't get me wrong - I'm really happy for them! It's just that they've known each other for 2 months, so when they told me that they're dating I was like "how did they fall in love with each other so quickly?". Later I told my other friend about my thoughts on it (she knows that I'm aromantic & asexual + they also told her that they're dating), and she laughed at me and said "you know that love at first sight actually exists, and it's not something made up for stories, right?". And then it hit me, that not everyone needs to be in a super close friendship with somone in order to fall in love with them 😱. Unbelievable, if you ask me.

22

Hello!

I know that this topic has been brought up on this page already, but I want to ask about it one more time - do you know any media (the form of it doesn't really matter to me, it can be a book, movie, webtoon, manga or anything) with an aromantic character, that not only is confirmed by the author to be aromantic, but it's also shown in the series? I'm talking about them having a coming out scene, or going through the process of realization that they're aromantic.

I definitely get what you're saying. 

I think that it's due to how romantic relationships are always presented as something necessary to achieve happiness. Our society's obsession with romance results in devalorization of friendships and not romantic love in general. In all those TV shows, characters with no desire for a romantic relationship/no romantic feelings are shown as sad, leading a miserable life human beings - even if they have friends. And because of that, people with smiliar feelings & experiences (such as me, you and probably many aromantics - or people on the spectrum - as well) are starting to feel like they won't be fullfiled, unless they'll get themselves a romantic partner. 

But how do I deal with it? To be honest the only thing I do about it, is interacting with other aromantics (or people on the aromantic spectrum). It makes me feel understood and less alone in my experience.

10 I think? But it depends on the person, because my friend had a big obsession on Louis Tomlinson when she was 8 so.

I had my first real crush when I was 11, but to this day I'm not sure whether it was a romantic crush or not... And for celebrities, well, I'm not sure if I can call it a crush, but when I was 9 I was obsessed with all One Direction members, Elizabeth Gillies, Jenette McCurdy and Miranda Cosgrove. 

2 hours ago, Storm_leopardcat said:

m-spectrum? How did they find out, or know, that you aren't straight? Rumours? Suspicions?

One time when I picked 'truth' in 'truth or dare' my classmate asked me if I'm part of the LGBTQ+, and I said yes. I've never specified what I identify as though, mostly because I wasn't sure about my aromanticism (and asexuality) at that time, and now I just don't know how to bring this up. However, I'm planning on coming out to them! I just need to prepare myself, because I know that they have no idea about what it exactly means to be aromantic (and asexual), and I want to make it clear ^^

Mostly not knowing what love feels like. Because even if I can pretend around my friends and family, that I do know the feeling, it's like I'm lying to myself, because I know that I won't be able to experience it, no matter how much I'd want to.

This is the exact situation that I'm in with my classmates! Because technically speaking I never came out to them, but they all know that I'm not straight so 💁‍♀️ (The only problem is that they probably think I'm on the m-spec rather than on the aromantic & asexual one, but maybe one day I'll clear their confusion).

Yes. I've always wanted to be in a romantic relationship. I liked the idea of being in love, but after some time, I just realised that it's not for me (at least not the platonic love). So nowadays I just want a really close friend, or maybe even a queerplatonic partner? Who knows! Just somone I'd feel comfortable with - that's near my area, because my closest friends are actually the furthest from me so 💔 (still love them though! - obviously)

When I was younger I had high suspections of autism and adhd, but for private (my family) reasons I've never got a proper diagnosis so 😥

I mostly don't understand how do people realise that they're in love. Doesn't matter whether it's somone they already knew or not. I just don't get how! Like, what do you mean that you're in love with your bestfriend you have known for years?  What do you mean that you're getting butterflies in your stomach when you're with them? How are you sure, that "feeling different around them", doesn't mean that you just started to trust them more? Or what do you mean when you say "I want to date them" about a person you've met for the first time in your life? I really don't get it! What is the difference between platonic & romantic feelings?!?

14 hours ago, Storm_leopardcat said:

What makes you think Elsa might be AroAce, and why Merida would be aromantic?
TBH, I think Merida might be loveless, or is AroAce?

(Warning!! Frozen, Frozen 2 and Brave spoilers! - in case if anyone who'll read this haven't watched it yet)

It has been clearly stated at the beginning of Brave, that Merida has no interest in marriage. And yes, I am aware that not being interested in marriage doesn't always equal not being interested in romantic relationships, but I think that in this case it is pretty clear, that Merida is truly uninterested in this kind of stuff. Although I can't really see her being interested in anyone sexually, so the asexual headcanon fits here as well.

What about Elsa though? Well, to be honest, it is pretty much the same. I mean Elsa getting married has never been mentioned in the movies, so it might not be that visible, but I think that her attitude towards Anna's and Hans relationship proves my point. When Anna announced to Elsa that she's getting married with Hans, Elsa seemed to be really confused. She didn't understand how anyone could fall in love that quickly. (And again, I know that probably anyone would have reacted in a smiliar way, because Hans and Anna knew each other for a day, but I still think that it strengths my argument).

My personal favourite headcanon is Power from Chainsaw Man as an aroace! It's because she doesn't really understand the difference between romantic & platonic love, and she never really understood other people being sexually attracted to eachother either.

I also headcanon Elsa from Frozen as an aroace, and Merida from Brave as an aromantic!

But aside from headcanons, I sadly don't know any canon aromantic characters 💔

Edit: I actually know one. It's Lilith from The Owl House, and she's canonically aroace!

Hi! In this post, I'll tell you how I realized that I'm aromantic. (I've already mentioned on this forum how I came to that conclusion, but I'll do it again, just with more details this time).

So I've always had problem with differenting my emotions and dealing with them in general. However, I've never had these problems with other people emotions 🧐. I mean some of them did confuse me, for example love, but it didn't stop me from helping others with dealing with them. (I used the word "with" a lot of times in this.... My apologies). But I thought that me not understanding love - especially the romantic one - was due to not hitting the puberty yet. I decided that I can wait with that. I'll wait until somone loves me, and then I'll obviously fall in love with them.

That's why I was relieved, when my closest friend back then told me, that she's in love with me. I thought that I loved her too, romantically, so I agreed without thinking. Although after about 6 months of dating, I realized, that our relationship doesn't really look like a romantic one, because even if I felt different while being with her, it was nothing like those romantic feelings that are described in romantic movies/books, or even by my parents. But I thought that it's just a part of the process of falling in love, so I let it go. And it was honestly a big mistake.

It felt like I was lying, but not only to myself, but also to my girlfriend. Because of that I started to get really anxious while being around her, which resulted in us loosing contact. 

The feeling of guilt didn't let me live in peace, so I decided to write a romantic letter, where all my feelings will be explained. I thought it would be easy, because despise my introvertism, I've always been a very talkative person, so I've never had problems with fiding words to describe things I wanted to say. I couldn't be more wrong. It took me about 2 hours to start writing, and about another 2 to finish. But even after I finished, it didn't look like a letter you'd write for you significant other. If I'm being honest, it came out more like a letter you'd write for your close friend.

I couldn't understand why was that, though. I made sure to involve the key word "love" in it, so why wasn't it romantic? 

That's exactly when I realized that I'm on the aromatic spectrum. Since that I've been researching more and more about aromanticism, and now I'm almost sure, that I'm fully aromantic. (I just don't really want to accept it).

And that's it! That's my story! Sharing this with you, is an another way for me to say: I'm really grateful that I found this page. Seeing other aromantic people makes me feel less alone in my experience!! 

(Ps: sorry for grammar mistakes!! English isn't my first language and I'm still learning it 💔)

I'm AroAce and not allo aro, but I can't dissagre. I think that it's because most people can't imagine romantic relationships with no sexual attraction involved. They assume that sex is necessary. 

And since they think that sexual attraction always comes along with the romantic one, they're sure that it also always goes away with it. They can't separate them.

The Frog Princess, Alice in Wonderland (the absolute nr.1), Toy Story 3, Big Hero 6, Moana & Cruella

I've never had problems with that. Well, as long as I didn't have to involve my personal feelings and/or experiences. 

I've played allro characters in RP's multiple times, and I've never had problems with creating romantic scenes in my fanfics/original stories. Although the problem came when I was trying to write a romantic letter for my (now ex) girlfriend, which happened earlier this year - in January, I think.

Despise my introvertism, I've always been a talkative person, so I never had problems with finding correct words for things I wanted to describe. But while writing that certain letter, my mind was absolutely blank. I had no idea what to write. It took me about 2 hours to even start, and another 2 to finish. After I've finally finished it, I realized, that it wasn't really a romantic letter. I mean sure, I wrote that I want to stay by her side for as long as I'll be able to, and I made sure to include the key word "love", but it still looked like something that you'd rather write for your close friend other than a significant other. (That's what made me realize that I'm on the aro-spectrum.)

I'm the oldest child and I have a younger brother who is currently 7. I'm not sure if anyone in my family is in the LGBTQ+ community, because they're quite homophobic so we don't talk about this topic often.

Taylor Swift songs. Like (almost) all of them. A pretty basic answer, but they really slap 💁‍♀️ 

Hello! 

I'm still having problems with accepting myself as an AroAce, but I really wanted to show you that you're not alone, so here I am!

First of all - you're not broken for not being able to feel romantic attraction to others. Love comes in many shades, so even if you won't be able to love somone romantically, you still can love them platonically! Because even if society thinks otherwise, you really don't need a romantic relationship to be happy. Unfortunately, it sure takes time to realise that, considering how our surrounding focuses on romantic feelings and treats it as the most important type of love, but I'm sure that it's worth it!

And to find more support, or just people that you'll be able to relate to, I recommend joining aromantic groups (I'm not sure if it's the best term to use, so please correct me if I'm wrong) on social medias - for example reddit! I've joined a few and honestly, it was one of the best decisions I've made in the past few weeks (or maybe even months). Most of the people there are really lovely and are willing to help you with your struggles!

I hope that it'll help you somehow <3